Punishments and Eyes
by DannyNess
Summary: Karkat suffers from an abusive partner called Gamzee. He suffer but one day he meets someone new. Will this new friend help him find a way to get Karkat away from Gamzee? (HumanStuck AU; KarkatxGamzee KarkatxSollux; warnings for abuse, sex, rape, gore, and language)
1. Chapter 1

(A.N: Okay, I'm doing this for the whole story. Homestuck does NOT belong to me. This plot does however. DO NOT STEAL THIS! Now, enjoy~ ^^')

I sluggishly pulled the over sized shirt over my bruise riddled body. My body aches from the night before. I knew the bruises would go away after awhile, but I always got new ones before I had a chance to heal anough.

Gamzee isn't abusive. He can be... a little over baring, but it's all for my own good. I think. He teaches me, what I should do and what I shouldn't. Punishments for bad things, and... Well, I don't get anything for good things, but not getting a beating is good enough.

I slowly shuffle out of the messy motel bedroom into the main room, where Gamzee sat on the couch with a joint and a bottle of alcohol. I look away from him and head towards the refrigerator.

"What 'chu doin' over there, mother fucker?" Gamzee slurred harshly. I swallowed hard, hoping my fear would be swallowed as well.

"Getting something to eat?" I hear him tsk and slouch in his seat. I sigh and open the fridge. Alcohol and pie. Only fucking alcohol. or fucking pie.

I roll my eyes and close the fridge door before beginning my scavenge for food in the cupboards. Only finding dirty dishes and empty cereal boxes.

When did we ever have cereal? Must have been a long while ago.

I shrug it off and turn to look at Gamzee. His eyes blood shot, yet the purple hued irises still glowed. It made my heart flutter like a teenage girl seeing her crush.

He glares up at me and I quickly turn my head, I shouldn't have looked. I know I shouldn't have looked. Never look.

He quickly get gets up off his chair, empty bottles of beer or something falling helplessly to the floor. The clang of glass against the painted concrete made me jump in surprise.

"You mother fuckin' scred?" I hear him growl at me. I keep my eyes on the floor that was scattered with cigarette butts, beer and vodka bottles, and blood stains.

I whimper quietly as he stands in front of me. Fucking tall bastard. I'm the size of a hobbit compared to him.

"I thought you were getting food?" he asks, somehow still sounding angry. I nod slowly, keeping my eyes on his boot. Steel toed leather boots. Damn those things. "ANSWER WHEN I ASK YOU SOMETHING!"

I flinch and my my muscles forcing me to shiver. "Y-Yes, sir..." I whisper.

He growls and grabs my hair tightly, pulling me to my toes. I whine in protest, trying to unhinge his fingers. He forces my face up, my eyes unconsciously glancing at his eyes. They were full of anger. It scared me. It always does.

He roughly throws me to the floor, my tail bone screaming as it hits the concrete. I shiver and my eyes widen in realization.

I'm on the floor.

I quickly try to scramble up, only for it to be in vain as a steel toed boot hit my chest with a crushing force. I gasped and yelped at the sudden pain. I barely had time to think as the foot met my stomach. My breath caught in my throat as I tried to get my breath back.

Another kick. Ribs. Stomach. Stomach. Stomach. Ribs. Ribs. Ribs. Stomach. Ribs.

Eventually I had given up trying to block the hits. My arms lie useless by my sides as the blows finally stop. The familiar taste of blood in my mouth, the aching pain that flows to the rest of my body from my torso.

"Get up!" Gamzee orders. I slowly turn myslef over, pressing my palms against the floor to help me up. "MOTHER FUCKING GET UP!" I gasp and try harder. I push up and scramble to my feet, my legs protesting against the weight of my body, quivering their reluctance.

I whimpered as Gamzee gestured angrily to the bedroom. I looked up pitifully into his indigo eyes. I nodded and slowly began walking to the room. He grumbled and shoved my back, my legs quickly trying to keep up with the rest of me, stumbling agaginst the wall. I shudder and fix myself, standing upright again as I walk into the bedroom.

Once in the doorway, Gamzee grabs my hair and shoves me down onto the floor. I whimper, preparing for another kicking session.

I flinched as Gamzee brought his foot up, my eyes clenching shut. I soon felt the cold rubber bottoms of the shoe against my head. I gulped and my eyes shot open.

Gamzee began pressing down hard on my head. I whined loudly in protest.

"Gamzee! Please! Stop!"

I writhe and squirm under the boot, his pressure only growing harder. The inside of my skull felt like it would soon be reduced to mush. I shivered as I felt as if my head would collapse any given moment. I knew it wouldn't though. Gamzee wouldn't risk another accusation on manslaughter.

A year or so ago, Gamzee had a pal named Tavros. A kind paraplegic guy, a little younger than me. Back then, Gamzee used me just as a play thing or someone to vent his anger onto. Tavros was the one he tried to love.

He said to me that Tavros is a better partner than I could ever be. Even so, one day Gamzee snapped while cleaning his attic in his last house, beofer the motel, and he dropped a 5-by-4 glass shard into the kid's neck from the second floor. Decapitated him and killed him instantly.

"GAMZEE STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING CRUSH IT!" I screamed, hearing my ears pop from the pressure. Gamzee scowled and removed his boot. I shiver and quickly hold my head in my hands, pain radiating though my body.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bed. Now," he harshly demanded. I whimpered and slowly pulled myself up onto the bed, feeling Gamzee staring lustfully at me.

I shudder as Gamzee quickly pulls my shirt over my torso, revealing all my old and new bruises. I slowly tried sitting up to see him, only to be quickly punched in the jaw. My mind swirled as Gamzee flipped me over onto my stomach and lifted my waist up. I internally cursed myself for not putting briefs on this morning. I hear Gamzee spit and soon felt him press two fingers against my entrance.

I clench my hands and yelp quietly as two rough digits push into me. I hear Gamzee chuckle darkly and stretch me roughly. I scream shorty and bury my face in the pillow in front of me. The fingers thrust in and out of me, making my legs quiver.

"Is the little whore enjoying his mother fucking treatment?" Gamzee asks in a rough voice, pushes two more digits into me. I scream into the pillow and try arching away from the penetrators.

I felt the bed shift under me as Gamzee climbed up behind me, unzipping his fly. I shudder at the sound and felt the tears pricking my eyes begin to wet the pillow beneath me.

The fingers pulled out and I sighed in relief, only for the relief to flash to pain as Gamzee thrust hard into me. I screamed in agony. The drunken man thrust hard into me, groaning in his own pleasure.

That's one of the only things Gamzee praises me for, my tightness. I could be stretched with something three times the size of Gamzee, yet be just as tight two or three days later. I curse myself for that.

I cry loudly into the pillow, the fabric soaked with salt water tears. I can barely think of what's happening. But, then again, what even is happening? Sex? Rape? Pleasure. Pain. Who decides. It must be Gamzee. He's in charge, he's the one who takes care of me. Why should I question anything he does? I should give him anything and everything he wants in return for keeping me healthy.

But I'm not healthy. Am I?

I clench the bed sheets tight as I feel Gamzee start thrusting harder and deeper instead of quickly and sloppily. I screw my eyes shut in preparation for what's soon to follow.

"F-Fuck!" Gamzee groans, releasing deep into me. I shiver as I feel the hot liquid inside of me. I quiver as Gamzee pulls away, semen dripping down my thighs onto the bed. I turn my head to look at Gamzee. He sluggishly cleaned himself off with one of my shirts before fixing his pants and glaring at me.

"I'm s-sorry... Gamzee..." I whisper in a hoarse voice. He growls and leaves.

I sigh and relax my legs and pull the sheets over my body. I think I'll sleep a little longer.


	3. Chapter 3

Gamzee had already headed off to 'work' for a few hours. And by 'work', it means him standing in an alley selling and offering drugs. I'd complain, but it pays good enough, and it gives me a few hours to myself.

I stumble as I pull a pair of well used sweat pants on over my legs. I throw on one of Gamzee's purple hoodies and zip it up over my black turtle neck sweater. I walk to the main room and pull my grey converse on before stepping out into the brisk autumn air. I shivered and slunk my head down, sticking my hands into the pockets of the hoodie.

Gamzee would kill me if he saw me now. Ou of the motel, wearing his hoodie. Even so, I need the fresh air.

I slowly walked out of the motel lot and down the pavement, walking aimlessly. I know there's a small park a couple blocks away. I sigh and let my thoughts take over.

Gamzee's eyes are first to come to mind. So bright and odd. After all, who has purple eyes? Though, he hates me looking at them. If I could, I would never stop looking. But Gamzee wouldn't allow it. He'd beat me until everyone of my muscles ached. I would deserve it. After all, if he doesn't want me looking at his eyes, I shouldn't be looking at his eyes.

I groan and stretch my arms as I see the park. My body still hurts from earlier tofay. Thankfully I had been able to shower and clean myself.

Gamzee doesn't like me taking showers, or baths for that matter. I don't exactly know that for sure but he glares at me like he's going to beat me, but he usually just yells at me for being an ungrateful slut.

I sit down on a cold bench and look around the colorful park. Some of the tree already turning colors, other still nice and green. I love fall, I get to wear my favorite sweaters everyday.

Last year, during winter, it had snowed so bad we were practically blocked into our motel room and the power had gone out. Gamzee was so desperate for warmth, he let me snuggle on his lap while we were surrounded by, like, seven blankets. It was one of those moments I hoped would never end.

I humped back to reality as a dog walked up to me and dropped a tennis ball on my lap. The dog was pure white with stunning green eyes. I stared at the eyes lovingly, before the dog nudged me.

I took the ball in my shaky hands and tossed the ball hard across the dying grass. The dog barked and quickly chased after it. I smiled as it ran and pounced onto the ball before grabbing it in its mouth. It swiftly ran back and dropped the ball in my lap. I chuckled and threw the ball harder this time, the dog quickly chased the ball, and brought it back just as quickly. It was a fast dog. A surprisingly fast dog for how its body is built. Even so, I threw the ball again.

"Oh my gosh, Bec, what are you doing over here?" an exasperated sounding girl said following the dog as it dropped the ball onto my lap.

I looked up at the girl who had long, dark brown hair, tan skin, and soft green eyes that were behind large wire rimmed glasses. She also had a lot of random colored strings tied around her fingers. I smiled at the strings.

"I'm sorry," she said shyly, taking the tennis ball from my lap. "He likes to play with strangers." I nod and look down at the dog, who seemed to still be waiting for someone to throw the ball.

"It's okay. He's a beautiful dog," I say back, ducking my head down a bit, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah, he is. He's a sweetheart too." She bent down and ruffled the dog's fur. "Isn't that right, Bec?"

I chuckled at the girls love for the dog. I could feel an emptiness inside me start to chur as I saw the green eyed girl love her dog.

"I'm... Karkat," I say boldly, hoping I wasn't being too forward. I don't talk to people very often.

"Oh. I'm Jade." She smiled at me and glanced at her watch. She yawned deeply before pulling a bright blue leash from her bag and clipped it onto her dog's collar. "I'm sorry. I'd love to stay and chat, but my grandpa is probably going to want me back home."

"Oh, okay," I say, honestly a little sad. "Bye then."

She waved and led her dog out of the park. I sighed deeply as she was out of sight. What had I even expected? She'd suddenly call me friend? She'd want to hand around me? A beat up guy who can't even say what he thinks anymore?

I clench my jaw and stare at the park trees. They're so beautiful, even though some happened to grow into weird shapes. But they were all pruned and cared properly for.

I stick my hand in my pocket and pull out my watch. I never keep it on my arm, after all, Gamzee would definitely break it if I did. I sighed and glanced at my watch. 4:07 pm.

Gamzee had been gone for almost an hour now. He's usually out for at least three hours at a time. Which is a good thing for me, unless he comes back from the bar.

Usually when Gamzee is drunk, he gets drunk at home, around peace and quiet. At the bar when he gets drunk, there are people there who put up a fight when he hits them. He often comes home with a bloody nose or a black eyes or something I usually get punished for.

Once Gamzee had come home with three large scratches down his face. They were bleeding terribly and I had instantly run run over to him, fussing over his face. I had begun to tell him he needed to go to the hospital, but he had shut me up by pulling my hair.

When I asked him what happened exactly, he only told me a girl at the bar was being an annoying bitch with her boyfriend. She apparently had ended up scratching his face with her nails. I doubt that to an extent, since his face looked like a large cat had mauled his face. Gamzee said he had beat the boyfriend up really badly and he seemed to be quiet proud of it too.

Even so, once I had cleaned his face up a bit, he released any anger he didn't get out at the bar, on me. Which was a lot that night apparently, but of course, it's always a lot when he comes back from the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

I quickly snap away from my thoughts as a tall (but not as tall as Gamzee) blonde guy with glasses sat down next to me on the bench. He looked at me and smiled, showing white and clean yet bad teeth. The smile was sweet though, made my face heat up a bit. His eyes were two different colors. The right blue, the left brown.

I quickly looked away and clenched my jaw. He was cute, I'd admit that, but if I did I'd probably be beaten until I couldn't tell what is pain anymore.

"Hey," the blonde said smoothly. I nodded and glanced back up, only for a moment before looking back down. "I'm Sollux. Sollux Captor. I, uh, saw you over here all alone looking kinda glum..." He had a slight lisp. It was cute.

Dammit I need to stop saying that! It's not fucking cute!

"Oh... Um.. Yeah..." I mumble back. "I'm Karkat Vantas."

Sollux chuckled, making me duck my head down more in embarrassment. Did he think my name is weird? I mean, its not like his name is normal!

"KK... I like it. It is K's, right? Not car like, vroom vroom, and cat like, meow, right?" I laughed slightly and looked up at his glittering eyes. So unique, being two different colors. Unique like Gamzee's being purple.

"Yeah. K-A-R-K-A-T," I say quietly, a smile a little too obvious on my face.

"Well, KK, it's nice to meet you." Sollux held out his hand. I hesitantly took it and shook it. I winced as he squeezed my bruises on my hand. He quickly pulled away and his face filled with a worrying look.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I tsk and look away again. "It's fine." I could feel him still looking at me. Looking with his gorgeous eyes.

"How?" he asks quietly. I glance up confused. "How did you get so... beat up?"

I feel my face heat up and flush in embarrassment. No! No! I don't need his pity! I don't need it! I shake my head.

"Please, tell me. I won't judge. If you've fallen down a flight of stairs, which I myself have done more times than I'd admit. You know, or if you're in one of those... 50 Shades of Gray relationships."

I feel myself blushing even brighter. How can I possibly be blushing brighter?! I probably look like a fucking school girl! And does he really think I'm into sadomasochism? I mean... really?

"No... It's just... My boyfriend," I say simply, keeping my eyes ahead of me, looking nowhere in particular.

"Oh... So it is all... 50 shades of-"

"No." I cut him off, looking over into his eyes. "It's nothing like that! It's pain! Pain and only pain! He only gets the fucking pleasure! I get the actual fucking! It's no fun! It's no joyride! AND IT'S NOT 50 SHADES OF GRAY!"

I gasp at what I just did and quickly look away. Oh god. If I had done that in front of Gamzee, I'd be dead. What got into me?

"I'm sorry," Sollux said quietly. "You just... had a lot of bruises, and I was... Well, I was worried that what you just said the case. So was my friend..."

I glance up at him. "F-Friend?"

Sollux nodded and looked over at a tall girl with short black hair and a beautiful outfit on. It was perfect on her for the season. She waved and smiled, her teeth shining. I gulped and looked away. She was beautiful, not in any way my type, but beautiful all the same.

"That's Kanaya. She saw you and said you seemed to be the type to, 'have an abusive partner'." He chuckled at something else, but it still made me a bit angry that he was laughing. "When I saw you, I said you were cute and that I should give you my number."

I gulped and wrung my hands together. I hoped secretly he would. I'd like to have someone other than Gamzee to talk to. I barely even 'talk' to Gamzee.

"Oh," I started "when I saw you, I stammered like a fucking idiot." Sollux chuckled and reached into his pocket, pulling out a pen.

"Are yo interested at all, or am I just picking up false hints?" I glanced at him, and his eyes, and felt my heart yearn for him. For those eyes. Have those fixed only on me. Like Gamzee's when he's panting and doing what he wishes with me. When his eyes only show me.

"N-No! I mean... Yes? Ugh..." I shake my head and look back up, determined. "I'm interested." I feel my heart flutter and my stomach twist as Sollux takes my hand and writes down seven digits.

555-2222

I chuckle see all the numbers. "Two two two two? Wow. That's going to be really fucking difficult to remember," I tease lightly, staring at the sloppy handwriting.

Sollux chuckles then seems to have changed personalities. "I want you to call me if you're having problems. I'll help you. Okay?"

I whimper and nod, looking away. "Yeah..."

"I'm sorry about putting you on the spot."

I slowly nod. "It's fine. I'm surprised with my bruises and scars someone hasn't noticed sooner."

Sollux changed again, smiling brightly. He patted my shoulder and stood up. "Now, don't go losing my number~" He winked before walking back over to his friend.

I nodded slowly to myself, a strange feeling pooling inside me. Something so comfortable that its uncomfortable.

I had spent another half hour just staring into nothing in particular before deciding to get up and go home. My mind running rampid with thoughts of Sollux. His name, for one, sounded so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. His eyes so strange and beautiful. His silly little lisp. His short blonde hair. His oval shaped glasses that looked so good on him. His kind smile.

Oh, his smile. Gamzee never smiles, he'd smirk, but nothing kind and loving like Sollux's. But I can't help but think Sollux is hiding something. Not something like how I try to hide my bruises, but something about himself, internally. I can't help but want to know what it is.

I've seen every phase Gamzee could be in. Angry and rarely calm. He was calm and sweet once to me. ONCE. Not when he let me cuddle in his lap for warmth. Once the power cam back on that day, be beat me harder than he had that whole month.

No, he was loving towards me once. The second day after killing Tavros, and the first day of being accused of manslaughter. He seemed... scared then.

He was come home with a fresh bag of drugs and syringes. He dropped them onto the couch and told me to come over to him. So I did. I thought he would want to beat me until I pass out, but no. He told me to hug him. I hadn't believed it at first, but I didn't question it.

He hugged me back. His arms do protective and strong, yet weak at the same time. He held me close, telling me he'd never let me go. That he'd keep me there with him until I died. My heart melted at the loving tone. He picked me up like a child, grabbed his drugs and carried us to the bedroom.

He set me down and pulled his belt off. I had thought he was going to slap me or rape me, but no. He took my arm and wrapped the belt tightly around it. Normally, I'd object to this, but I didn't dare ruin his good. mood.

He pulled a syringe out from the bag, along with a spoon, a lighter, a bottle of water and heroin. I gulped as he expertly put water and heroin in the spoon and started to heat it up. Once the drugs were mixed and cooled down enough, Gamzee pulled the drug up into the syringe and quickly pushed it into my arm. I shuddered as he shot the heroin into my blood.

Gamzee removed his belt and lied me down onto the bed. I started shivering in worry. What am I going to feel like? It it going to hurt? Gamzee stroked my stomach and smiled.

I gasped as I felt the effects start. I shuddered and felt my face flush. Gamzee pulled my shirt up slowly, and kissed my stomach.

I whimpered and clenched the bed sheets underneath me. My mouth was dry and my head was telling me to do something. Anything. I quickly grabbed Gamzee's shoulders and pushed him onto the bed.

He seemed too out of it to care. I straddled his waist, shuddering with my senses flaring out of control. He slowly rubbed my hips soothingly.

"G-Gamzee... C-Can I-I..?" I ask in a quivering voice. He nodded and I quickly started pulling my clothes off, his soon following. We were left in our underwear. His purple boxers, and my crab themed briefs. I had always hated those pair, but no point in complaining.

I leaned over and starting licking and kissing his chest, humping down against him. God, I've never felt like this before. I could feel every nerve being touched.

"Fucking hell..." I pant out, crawling off of Gamzee. "Hurt me... Please, Gamzee. This isn't like you! You're not nice!"

Gamzee only pushed my onto my back and pulled my legs up.

I shuddered remembering the loving sex we had. He had kissed me, and loved me. So beautiful.

I hugged myself as I walked back into the motel room. If only things were like that now...


	5. Chapter 5

I sit on the couch, eating a slice of older pie, when suddenly Gamzee comes into the room, joint between his fingers. I swallow and set my plate down on the coffee table. He glares over at my with gorgeous eyes rimmed with red. I turn away, scared to hold his gaze any longer. He scoffed and took a long drag before walking to the bedroom.

A nagging in my head told me to follow him. But why should I? He'll probably just beat me. I internally cursed myself as I stood up and walked to the bedroom.

I walk into the room to see the usual of Gamzee changing from jeans into his favorite dotted pajama bottoms. He looks up and glares at me harshly. I gasp slightly before looking away.

"W-Welcome home... Gamzee..." I say quietly, pulling my sleeves over my hands. I look at the sleeves to see the familiar purple fabric of Gamzee's hoodie. I choked back a whimper as I realized I hadn't taken it off.

Gamzee stepped closer to me and grabbed my hair, pulling me up, forcing me onto the balls of my feet. My hands instinctively flew up to hold Gamzee's grip, trying to dull the pain.

"Why are you wearing my jacke-" he cut himself off and grabbed my hand. I shuddered in fear. Not only is he mad at me for wearing his stuff, but he's going to see the number with Sollux's name by it.

His eyes grow wide and he roughly throws me against the wall, making me gasp for air at the sudden blow. Gamzee stepped back in front of me, glaring daggers into me.

"WHO THE FUCK IS SOLLUX?!" Gamzee barked, making me flinch. I felt tears already brimming my eyes. "ARE YOU HIS NEW SLUT?! He fucks you while I'm not home?! Huh?!"

I shiver and slowly shake my head. He growls and regrabs my hair, pulling me over to the bed. I whimper as he sets me down. Well, more of a toss. And angry, forceful toss. I try to force my body to stop shivering, only for it to flinch in surprise as Gamzee smashes a vodka bottle on the nightstand. I begin to cry quietly.

I know what's coming. When he's too far away from the kitchen knives, he uses broken bottles. He quickly and roughly removes his hoodie before lifting my sweater up.

I scream in pain as he digs the broken glass into my flesh of my chest. The blood makes its trails down my torso as Gamzee drags the bottle downward. Once to my bellybutton, he stops and starts again from the top, slowly, angrily dragging the bottle down my chest, gripping the neck of it tightly.

Tears flow from my eyes as I cry loudly in pain. Pain I know I deserve. I hadn't only worn Gamzee's jacket, but I accepted to taking a strangers phone number. I deserved every singe and spark of pain delivered.

"YOU IGNORANT MOTHER FUCKER!" he yelled loudly, cutting down my chest again, deeper this time. "I bet you think you're all special?! 'Cause a stupid mother fucker gave you his phone number?!"

I screamed again as he slashed one of my nipples with the glass. I could smell the blood in the air. Iknew I was going to have to wash the sheets again after this.

"WELL YOU'RE NOT! HE PROBABLY SAW ALL YOUR BRUISES KNOWING YOU'RE SUCH A WEAKLING AND WANTED A PIECE!" Gamzee shouted loudly in my ear. I shuddered and felt hot tears run over my face. "You're just a mother fucking whore!"

My head felt light, the pain starting to cease. I shuddered as I felt Gamzee pull my sweatpants off.

"N-No!" I blurt out before thinking. I cry louder, realizing I'll be punished for that.

"What?! You don't want to please me?! You want your new fuck buddy, huh?!" Gamzee pushes my legs up against my shoulders, my muscles stretching and aching.

I don't want this. I don't. But I know I deserve it. I shouldn't have gone out. I should have stayed put. I should never have talked to that boy. I should never have worn his clothes.

(A.N: Sorry for the short chapter. This one and the next one are shorter. But the following ones should stay longer.)


	6. Chapter 6

I feel the sudden hardness of Gamzee thrust into me. I scream in agony as I'm ripped. No prepping. No lubricant. No warning. Just the sudden shock of being stretched beyond my limit. I screamed out and Gamzee groaned. I could feel my consciousness fade in and out as Gamzee pounded.

The blood loss made my head feel light. I was barely crying now. My body trying to pull me under as Gamzee kept me awake, forcing me to endure the pain. I gasped as black engulfed my mind. I couldn't feel. I couldn't see.

Finally. Peace.

XxX

No! This isn't peace! THIS IS HELL!

I run aimlessly in the dark. The pitch black darkness feels as if it's creeping into my body. It tries to pull my sanity apart.

Someone screams in the darkness and I trip. I stagger around before looking down at what I tripped on. A headless body, with rust colored blood seeping from the neck. I screamed and turned to run. More darkness.

Darkness. Fear. Anxiety. All things familiar to me.

I keep running. Running and running until I finally see a light. I quickly, desperately run towards the light. The hope.

I stopped as I saw a clown. Was it a clown? It had large orange horns, messy black hair the reminded me of Gamzee. He was holding a head in his hand, the familiar rust blood dripping from where its neck should be. I gagged seeing the crazy clown's three cuts down his face, dripping with indigo blood.

The crazed thing looked up at me with anger and sad eyes. He glared holes into me. I whimpered and fell to my knees, though someone else I hadn't noticed walked to him.

The clown's eyes looked away from me and looked to the other figure walking towards him. He was oddly familiar. He was as tall as me, had messy bedhead hair, but had grey skin, and small nubby, orange horns. He seemed to look like the crazed clown but looked... tired.

The smaller walked up to the clown and hugged him. The clown's rage intensified and he quickly grabbed the smaller alien-like creature's hair.

The nubby horned one screamed and fought. Kicked, hit, thrashed, screamed, all in attempt to escape. The taller one only pushed him onto the ground and kicked. Kicked. And kicked.

I could feel myself starting to cry.

The older alien finally stopped, leaving the smaller one in a quivering heap on the ground. The younger quickly pulled himself up and clung to the clown's legs, his eyes filled with fear, sadness, want, and longing.

I felt my heart race and tears run down my face. Why doesn't he run? He could run away so easily. Though all that's around is darkness, it's better than that! Run! Please! And never go back!

The taller glanced at me, making me scream and dart my eyes open, though I didn't know they were closed. I sat up in the bed I was now in and looked around in fear of the scary alien still there. I panted and felt the stinging pain from last night hit me.

I hugged myself and looked at Gamzee who turned over and looked at me with anger, but tired eyes.

"The hell you doin' screaming in the midle of the mother fucking night?!" he asks angrily, his voice slightly clouded with sleep. I sniffed and quickly hugged him, crying into his chest. I felt him tenser up under me. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Gamzee shouts, wuickly pulling me away.

He rubs his face and climbs out of the bed and walks out into the main room, no doubt he's going to sleep on the couch again.

"Stupid bastard!" he barks from the other room.

I shiver and turn back onto my side of the bed. I hug myself.

I was a dream... Just a dream...

(A.N: Again. Sorry for the short chapter. The next ones are longer. I promise ^^ Oh! Hey! If you're enjoying this story you can read this on my DA page as well. My account is 'SleepingRadioz' I'd really like it if you checked my stuff out, thanks ^^ )


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up alone the next morning. No one in bed. No one on the couch or chair in the main room. Gamzee must have left to go to his 'work' most likely. I run my hand over my naked chest, feeling all the new jagged scabs across my chest. I sigh and look around the empty motel.

It's so messy. I'm tempted to just clean, but Gamzee would probably snap at me and say that it was a waste, since it will only get messy again. I need to do laundry anyway.

I walk back into the bedroom and pull the sheets off the bed, gather what dirty clothes I could and wapped them all in a dirty blanket. I set the pile next to the door. I look down over myself. I can't go out wearing just a pair of sweatpants. People would question me if they see me with a bunch of bruises and cuts.

I walk back to the bedroom, grab one of Gamzee's shirts and pull it on over my head. I reach under the mattress where Gamzee 'hides' his cash and I pull out a handful of quarters. I quickly count them and put them in my pocket with my watch.

I quickly walk back out of the bedroom and grab the pile of clothes and walk out of the motel room towards the small laundry room the motel residents use. It has a few washing machines and dryers, but they all usually work the same.

Once there, I open one of the washers and shove the clothes and sheets in. I sigh as I buy the soap and dump it into the machine. I push in a few quarters and sit down in one of the provided chairs.

Waiting is the worst part in my opinion. Its so boring and stupid. Why can't they come up with a way that washes your clothes really fast and really well so I wouldn't have to sit here like a fucking idiot. I growl and pull out the quarters I still have left. I'll need three quarters for the dryer... So I have... a whole dollar left. Lucky me.

I glance over at the rarely used payphone. Gamzee and I have a home phone, but we don't use it much. Only when Gamzee gets too lazy to go out and shop he orders his pies and alcohol to be sent to the room.

I look down at my hand. The numbers of Sollux's phone numbers are smudged. Not that it matters, it's not exactly difficult to remember his number. I glance again at the payphone then the four extra quarters. I doubt he'll even answer. He won't remember me anyway. No way he'd remember me.

I tsk and quickly walk over to the payphone. This is so fucking stupid. I press two of the quarters into the slot and dial the numbers.

555-2222

I hold the phone to my ear and look towards the door as it rings. I gulp and feel my face heat. This is so stupid. This is such a fucking bad idea. What if Gamzee finds out? What would he do?! Would he-

The phone clicked. "Hello?" and unfamiliar, nasally voice said.

"Uh... Hello, is Sollux there?" I ask quietly. This is so fucking stupid.

"Hehehe, yeah. He's in the bathroom. I stole his phone," the voice chuckled. "Are you his new boy-"

'Mituna!' a distant voice yells through the phone. 'Get the fuck away from my phone!'

I hear a few curses and the phone rattle before it goes silent again.

"Hello," a more familiar voice asks.

"Uh, Sollux?" I ask, rubbing my feet together in nervousness.

"Yeah? Who's this?"

"It's... Uh... It's Karkat."

"KK! I'm so happy to hear from you! What's up?"

I gulp and glance towards the dorr, paranoid someone's going to walk in. "N-Nothing... Gamzee's gone for a couple hours, so I'm jus-"

"This isn't a booty call, right?" Sollux teased, even so I felt my face heat up.

"N-No! No! I just... I was... He..."

Sollux laughed. "I'm just kidding. But seriously, your... boyfriend, is the one who... well... gave you those bruises?"

I gulp and grind my teeth. "Y-Yeah... He... He found your number on my hand the other day... And uh... kinda flipped about it..."

Silence. Dead silence. I gulp.

"S-Sollux?"

"I'm so, so, so, so sorry! I'm so sorry, KK! I d-didn't know he would.. I'm sorry!" I felt something fill inside me as he said that. Only a little though. It made my heart sink in want. I want more of whatever Sollux seemed to give.

"It's not... a BIG deal... He's done worse.." I leaned against the wall. "Please don't worry about it. I can deal with him. I don't need you worrying about me too."

"But... it's my fault... I was..." He sighed. "Alright. I'll try not to worry, but I won't stop hoping you realize what you really want from your relationship."

I paused. What do I want? I don't get to ask that. I don't get to wish, or hope for anything. Gamzee makes my decisions for me. Gamzee and only Gamzee... Right?

"Yeah, uh... Um, s-so how are you doing then?" I ask awkwardly. Again, I rarely talk to people.

"I'm fine. Mituna's being a jackass like usual. My dad's out of town for the week. He probably just went to go to his slutty 'mistresses' house." I could hear the mocking tone in his voice. I smiled at the strange change in Sollux's voice.

"Was that one girl at the park your girlfriend?" I ask curiously, my feet continuing to rub against each other.

"Kan? Oh, no. No no no. She's beautiful, and I'd honestly tap that ass so hard. But she plays for a whole different team, if you know what I mean."

I chuckle. Strange way to mix words, but still. "Yeah, I get it... She's... kinda like me?"

Sollux paused for a moment. "So you're all guys, huh?"

I feel my face heat up. I know that tone. The tone he said that with. I had heard it with my brother, Kankri, when I told him I was gay. He called me a sinner and went on talking how wrong I was, then told our dad... They practically disowned me then. I lived with them, but we never talked. They refused to even let me eat with them, or watch movies with them. Like I had some disgusting feature about me they couldn't stand to look at.

"You don't like it, do you?"

"Hum? Like what?"

"You don't like the idea of me being gay... One dude wanting to fuck another dude. It's weird for you... isn't it?"

"What?! No! I love gay dudes and chicks. I'd be lying if I said I haven't gotten myself off once or twice thinking about another guy myself. But I personally, wouldn't consider myself gay or bi for it."

I gulp and look at the washing machine. It should be done soon. "Sollux. I think I'm going to need to go soon. My clothes are going to need to be changed over soon."

Sollux laughed lightly, it made my heart smile. If hearts could even do that. "Where are you?"

"I'm in my motel's laundry room... I had to clean my sheets and... uh... they had a payphone... so I..."

"Yeah, I get it. Hey! You should come over sometime! We could talk longer and I'm sure it wouldn't be so awkward in person," Sollux said happily. "How's that sound? And... And, if you need to get away from what's0his-bucket, you can come stay over here until things cool down."

I gulp. "Um... Okay... Would I be able to remember your address?"

Sollux seemed to laughed loudly. "Yeah. Yeah. It's easy. 22 Hydra lane. It's about three blocks from the park we met at."

I felt my heart beat pick up. He's only, at most, ten blocks away from here. And we're just talking on the phone. I chuckle at the thought. "It's strange."

"Yeah, my dad's obsessed with twos. I've tried gett-"

"No, not that," I interupt. "We're only a couple blocks from each other, but we're just talking on the phone."

Sollex paused. "yeah. I guess it is kind of funny." H chuckles slightly. "So, can you remember the address?"

"Oh. Y-Yeah. 22 Hydra lane. Got it."

'Sollux! Get your gay ass down here and do the damned dishes!' the familiar nasally voice yelled from Sollux's end.

"Ph, shit. KK, it was amazing talking to you, but I gotta go... uh... hack the government."

I chuckle at the idea. "I'm sure you'll have great luck with that from the kitchen sink."

Sollux laughed loudly. "Alright. Call me some other time. Or just visit, the door's always open!"

'SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR!'

"Ugh. I gotta go, KK. See ya."

"Yeah... Bye."


	8. Chapter 8

The call hung up. I swallowed and put the phone back. I feel something tug at me. I wanted to talk to him again, but I couldn't just call again. I sigh and walk over to the washer and pull out more quarters for the dyer. The washing machine beeped and I quickly moved the soggy clothes and sheets from the washer to the dryer.

Why do I want to talk to him so much? I don't need him. I need Gamzee. I shouldn't even be talking to Sollux. But... he makes me feel happy.

Happy. As if. I can't be happy, Gamzee doesn't want me to be happy. I don't deserve happiness. Gamzee made that perfectly clear. I start the dry cycle and sigh, looking to the door. Gamzee said I don't even deserve him, and that I should be happy that he's stayed with me as long as he has. My head starts to swirl. He's only with me because he killed his only love. You're Tavros' replacement. He thinks keeping me will fix things.

No! No no NO! I grip my hair in my hands. No!

He's just pitying me. He would feel too bad about leaving my with nothing. He's just with me because I make him feel powerful. He only stays for my tight ass.

NO NO NO NO NO!

When he gets tired of me he'll kill me, just like he did Tavros.

"NO!" I scream at the top of my lungs, my hands pulling my hair hard, I feel the ends snapping off from my scalp as I gripped harder. "It's not true. It's not true. It's not true. It's not true."

It is true. Just accept it.

"NO!"

I glance up as I hear a familiar beeping. The drying is done. I sigh and shiver, pulling myself together. Just don't think. Don't think at all.

I pull the dry clothes out and wrapped the back up in the now clean blanket and walk out from the laundry room. Gamzee should be coming home soon. That is, if he decided not to go to the bar again. Maybe he'll come home and hold me like he did years ago. Wrap me in his arms, drug me, then fuck me so sweetly. Oh I wish he would.

I open the motel room and walk into the familiar scene of pie tins, alcohol bottles, cigarette butts and other random things. Fucking mess everywhere. I trudge into the bedroom and drop the clothes and sheets onto the floor. I pull out the sheets and fix the bed, stuffing sides under the mattress and spreading them neatly across the whole bed. It's a shame it'll be ruined at some point.

I kick the clean clothes into a corner, away from any dirty pie tins or half full bottles that could break.

Such an odd things Gamzee's keen on kicking me for. Cleaning. I limped for three days after his punishment when I cleaned up the bedroom. He had twisted my leg so far it could have snapped. While it was twisted he stomped hard onto it. I was surprised and relieved it hadn't broke. I'd probably would have gotten beat again just for breaking something.

I walk to the living space and sit down on Gamzee's favorite chair. I curl up, wincing as a plastic bag stabs my side. I pull it out of the cushion and look at it. Cocaine. It doesn't look used though, so he's probably going to sell it.

I should keep it.

What?! No! No! No I shouldn't! Stop thinking. Stop thinking!

I stuff the bag back into the cushion and curl back up. He should be home soon.

(A.N: I know this was short! Really short! I'm sorry about that also! This part was supposed to be with chapter 7 but it made it too long, so I had to cut this part off. I hope none of your readers get too upset about that)


	9. Chapter 9

I sat, examining one of Gamzee's beer bottles when suddenly the man himself stumbles into the room. Bloody, most likely, broken nose and a black eyes. I gasp and run up to him.

"Gamzee!" I could smell the alcohol on him, much stronger than what he has here.

He angrily grabs my wrists and slams me against the open door. Anyone walking by would be able to see.

"Fucking slut! Think you can leave me?!" he barks, yanking my head back by my hair. I whimper and let him, hoping if I stay like a doll he'll finish his rage fit sooner.

"I-I'm not leaving..."

"What was that?!" he asks in a demanding tone. So it's going to be like this tonight.

"I'm not leaving... Sir." I feel him bash my head against the door before pushing me back inside. I stumbled and fell back onto the floor. I quickly tried getting up, only for the all too familiar steel toed boot hit my gut. I silently screamed and fell back down.

"You think this is a game?!" Gamzee barked louder, slamming the door shut.

"N-N-No, sir..." I whisper.

"SPEAK UP!"

"No, sir!"

He scowls and walks behind me, my back soon felt the overwhelming blow of force. I yelped and tried arching away. He kicked again. And again. And again.

"ARE YOU NOT HAPPY MOTHER FUCKER?!" Gamzee kicks me even harder. I feel my spine scream loudly in protest, but I stay quiet. There's a reason for this. There always is.

He growls and digs a heel into my side. I feel the hot tears run over my cheeks. I deserve this. I do. I deserve every bruise, every cut. I am a slut. I should be happy that I even have Gamzee. He doesn't HAVE to stay.

I am happy.

"Get your mother fuckin' clothes off!" Gamzee snaps, undoing his pants. I slowly pulled my shirt over my head, showing all my bruises and scabbing cuts. I pull my sweatpants off as well, I hadn't put underwear on today, since I washed them all, so I was left naked.

Gamzee walked over to the couch and sat dow, his legs spread wider than usual. I knewall too well what he wanted.

"I haven't had a good mother fuckin' BJ in a long time." Gamzee rubbed his thighs. "Get over here mother fucker!"

I flinch. "Y-Yes, sir..." I crawl over and kneel between his legs. My torso ached as I slid his pants down. I pulled out his member, which was barely hard. I leaned over and started sucking on the tip. I skillfully sucked and worked the shaft to it's full hardness. He groaned as I kneaded his balls, he rolled his hips and spread his arms over the top of the couch.

I looked up at him to see his face, slightly bloody and just a tint of pink from the arousal and his eyes glazed with lust. I could feel my own groin stirring with excitement. I'd be beaten if he sees me being the whore he says I am.

I hum around his cock, he bucked up into my throat. I knew what he wanted. I pushed my head far onto the hard organ, it hitting the back of my throat. I gag, but keep my head down, engulfing the organ in my throat. My hands stroke his thighs slowly.

"Oh..." Gamzee rolled his head back. I forgot how amazing he looks when drowning in sex. His eyes unfocused but still so bright. Even though I know he isn't thinking of me, he's still beautiful.

I work even harder, trying to pleasure him. His groans get louder as I rub the base of the shaft with my fingers. I pull away and take a deep breath.

"DON'T STOP WHORE!" Gamzee barked. I whimpered and looked down at myself. I was already leaking precum.

No, no, please go away. Fucking hell, go away!

I gulp and look up at Gamzee's purple hued eyes, dilated and lust filled. A sudden urge to ride him fills my head. I'd climb up onto him, push myself down onto him like a whore he makes me to be. No preperation so it would stretch and pain me, but I would be too aroused to give a fuck. Oh, he'd suck on my neck, biting my chest.

I let the fantasies fill my head, while my own erection weaped and begged for attention. Gamzee scowled and glared at me.

"SUCK NOW OR I BEAT YOUR ASS 'TIL IT BLEEDS!" he shouts. I gulp and wrap my hand around my own pulsing organ as I quickly resume suckling sweetly on his. He bucked up into my throat, making me gag and grip myself tighter. Fuck its so sweet. So salty. I suck up hard, using my free hand to knead his balls. He has to be close. I want to cum with him. I want him.

I hum around his cock, he shuddered and one of his hands flew to grip my hair. The pull on my scalp, the big member in my throat, my own hand flying over my own erection. It's so much. So sweet. So fucking sweet.

"T-Tav..!" Gamzee groaned before bucking hard into my throat, the hot liquid trailing down my throat. I moaned onto him as I felt my seed spurt out.

These times, are why I stay.


	10. Chapter 10

I cough out blood as Gamzee stomps onto my gut. I sputter as he pulls me out of the bedroom. Gamzee couldn't find any of his cocaine, and blames me for losing it. I tried telling him to look in his chair, but I couldn't have possibly gotten a word in from all the punches and kicks. I now have a black eye and cut lip on my face, along with countless new bruises on the rest of my body.

"Dn't you fucking come back until you tell me where my mother fucking drugs are!" Gamzee shouted, tossing me out of the motel. He slammed the door, leaving me quivering on the pavement only wearing a sweater and a pair of sweat pants. No socks. No shoes. No ice or anything to help my eye.

I sigh and hug myself. I've only ever been kicked out once. The whole night I sat curled up next to the door, hoping Gamzee would at least give me a blanket. It was early spring then, and still very cold.

Like right now. Only it's fall instead. It's midday, so I have pleantly of time to wander before having to come back to sleep. Maybe Sollux is at the park?

Probably not. I trudge away from the motel lot, my feet stepping on rocks here and there making me wince in pain. I should go visit Sollux. I mean, it wouldn't hurt, right? Gamzee wouldn't be after me all day, and what he doesn't know can't hurt him, right?

Right/ The only one who would get hurt is me. Shouldn't I be worried about that? Why do I want to see Sollux so badly?

I tsk and try and remember the address.

22 Hydra Lane.

Okay. And its only a few blocks from the park. It shouldn't be that hard to find. I glide my hand up to my swollen eye. I've had worse, but still it hurts like fuck.

I squint to see a street sign across the road, when suddenly my feet roll out from under me and I landed hard on my hip. I yowl in pain and grip my side. The bruises didn't help.

"OH MY GOSH!" a girl voice called. A tall girl ran over to me, worry plastered onto her face. She had dark, shoulder length hair, and red tinted eye glasses. Her clothes were teal and red which matched her look. "Are you okay! I'm so sorry!"

I groan and sit up, trying to calm myself from yelling at the girl. "I'm fine..." I mutter darkly "just a broken hip..."

She puts a hand out and I quickly hit it away. "I really am sorry. I didn't think my skateboard would hurt anyone."

I climb to my feet and look up at her. "I'm fine!" I snap, seeing her still worried expression.

"Yeah, you just... Look kinda..."

I flush and look away. Damn it. Not again. I don't need pity! "Beat up?" I finish for her.

She coughs a little. "Yeah... D-Did my skateboard do that? 'Cause I'm even more sorry if it did."

"No. No. I'm fine. Seriously."

She pursed her lips and nodded reluctantly. "Well, is there anyway I can help you? I could... I don't know... get you shoes?"

I blush brighter and glance up at her. "No! I have fucking shoes! I don't need your sympathy!"

She sighed and nodded. "Is there ANYTHING I can do?"

I glance away. I internally curse myself for what I was about to ask. "Do you know where Hydra lane is?"

She smiled. "Yeah! My boyfriend, Mituna, lives there! The streets just down the road a bit then yo-"

"Mituna?" I interrupt.

She chuckles a bit. "Yeah, it's a strange name, but he's a sweet guy."

"Does he have a brother... Sollux?" Her expression quickly turned to surprise.

"Yeah. You know him?"

I nod and wring my hands together. "I was actually going to his place now..."

She seemed to grin wider, her mind obviously filled with something she doesn't plan to share. "Well, I'm guessing you haven't been over before?"

I shake my head. Was it that obvious? Of course it is! I didn't even know where the street was.

"I'll take you there. It was a little over whelming for me the first time I went over." She laughed and put her hand out.

I gulped and placed my bruised hand into hers. She quickly tightened her grip and began pulling me down the pavement. My feet struggle to keep up the fast pace. I feel the muscles in my legs protest suck unwanted stress. My lungs heaved and the bruises on my hand throbbed as this girl kept her tight grip. Damn she was fucking strong.


	11. Chapter 11

She eventually stopped in front of a house, my knees buckling as soon as she let go of my hand. I gasped for breath, my legs quivering from the sudden rushes of blood to them.

"We're here, kid." She looks down at me, barely out of breath. I internally curse her. How the fuck can she be able to breath right?! After all that damned running?!

I slowly climb to my feet, my legs screaming at me to sit down and give them a break. We walk to the the door, but I quickly stop her by grabbing her arm.

"I-I don't know your name..." I look at her strange glasses, and see beautiful creamy blue eyes behind them. She was beautiful. No wonder she was dating someone related to Sollux. Wait! What?! What am I even saying?! No! Push it out of my mind! Now!

"I'm Latula~"

"Karkat."

She laghs, my face flushed and I quickly let go of her. She ruffles my hair before opening the door and walking in. Just walked right in! No fucking hesitation what so ever!

"MITUNA! I'm coming in!" she shouted. I heard screaming on floor up. And running. A lot of running. I looked at Latula who was standing inside the house as I stood outside the door, scared to go any closer.

All of a sudden, a frizzy haired blonde ran down the stairs, quickly hissed Latula on the cheek before running the corner of the house. A familiar figure bolted down after him.

"Mituna! Give it back!" he yelled, quickly grabbing the frizzy haired boy, knocking him to the floor with a hard THUMP.

I stared into the house, frozen where I stood. I watched the two -presumably- brothers wrestle on the hard wood floor, until the messy haired blonde pinned Sollux under him, holding his head down on the floor. Latula only rolled her eyes.

"Sollux. Your friend is here."

Sollux looked up at me, his expression changing from frustration to surprise. "KK!" He frantically shoved his brother of of him and stumbled over to me, gulping seeing me black eyes. "Come in!"

Sollux yanked my arm, forcing me inside the crazy household. Latula and the other blonde seemed to be drawn to each other, as they smiled and hugged. A deep longing in me tugged, telling me that I wanted that.

"You've met Latula?" Sollux asks, interrupting my thought. I quickly nod and look up into Sollux's mismatched eyes. "Oh, and that idiot over there, who's making googily eyes at her is my brother, Mituna."

I looked over at the frizzy haired blonde. His eyes where like Sollux's, only duller. I gasped as he stuck his tongue out at me, it was split with two piercings on each side. He chuckled at my response..

"Sorry. He doesn't understand how that could be unnerving." Sollux glares over at his frizzy haired brother before turning back to me, smiling. I felt my heart race seeing with sweet smile. "My dad's off with his..." he cleared his throat "mistress, so she won't be around."

I nod before looking over to the other two who were grinning like Cheshires at each other. Mituna stuck his tongue out for her, and twisted it so the two sides split more. I Forced myself not to gasp in surprise.

Sollux scoffed at his brother. "KK... Go upstairs for me, okay?" I gulp and look at him. Should I listen? I mean, he just said his father wasn't here. What was he planning? Was he going to rape me?! "Please~?" Sollux asked in a sweet tone. I flush and nod, quickly shuffling up the stairs. Once to the top, I look down at the three older parties.

Mintuna leaned in for a tender kiss with Latula and it made my heart ache. Sollux, however, quickly ruined the oment by reaching down Mituna's pants and quickly pulling out a plastic disk case. Mituna quickly pulled away from his girlfriend and quickly tried grabbing the case from his brother. Sollux only laughed and quickly bolted up the stairs, the frizzy haired blonde right after him. As Sollux passed he grabbed my wrist making me yelp in pain.

He quickly pulled me into a bedroom before Mituna grabbed one of us. He locked the door behind us and turned to me, grinning ear to ear. "I got it," he said, holding up the case which held a disk. I nod and rub my wrist. Damn, he had a tight grip.

I quickly go and sit on his bed, pulling my sleeve up, revealing the old scars and newer bruises. Though nothing Sollux had done, it still ached from his grip.

"Oh," Sollux seemed to catch on "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?!" I nod slowly. "Oh my god, KK, I'm sorry! I'm so, so, so sorry!"

I tsk and glance around his room. There were scribbles all over the wall, some complicated math stuff I didn't understand. Cables and wires led to almost everything from the computer, which was in the corner. It had three monitors and a large swivel chair in front of it.

Sollux tossed the disk case onto a pile of dirty (or clean, I honestly couldn't tell) clothes and walked over to me with worry written in his expression. His eyes still shone bright though. Those... gorgeous, beautiful eyes. I flush a bit and quickly look away.

"I didn't think before grabbing you. I was stupid... I... I'm sorry," Sollux whispered.

"Shut up!" I snap. "I don't need that!" I pause, surprised at my own actions, but my mouth seemed to continue. "You could break my fucking legs and I still wouldn't want an apology."

Sollux gulped, obviously a little surprised at my outburst, almost as surprised as myself. What in name of god has gotten into me?!

"Well... Okay... I'd apoligize for apologizing, but that wouldn't make sense." He smiles, and I can't help but smile back. His smile is so sweet and cute.

Fuck! Not cute! Not! Cute!

"So what brings you here, KK?" Finally decide to leave that douche bag?"

"He's not a douche bag..." I mumble, glaring down at the floor. "Don't call him that... Please..."

He chuckles. I don't see the humor in it however. "I'm just teasing. I shouldn't have been. I'm sorry."

My stomach flips. Teasing. Of course.

"I honestly don't care if you stay with him or not. I just... hope its not one sided love."

One sided? Is that what it is? It's not like I really chose that. If Gamzee doesn't want to love me, he still gets me. It's not my choice to make.

I look back over at Sollux. He grins mischievously at me. I gulp and feel a shiver run down my spine. He lunges at me, burying his fingers into my sides, tickling me. I laugh uncontrollable as he tickles me down onto the matress.

My thoughts scramble and turn unimportant as the only thing I cared about was getting him off. Wait, idea! I quickly fake a scream and Sollux pulls away, his face filled with worry.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry! I didn-"

I burst out laughing at him. "I was teasing you, fuckass!" I exclaim through my laughs. God, I haven't been this happy in years.

Sollux growls and grabs my wrists, holding them above my head. He didn't hold them as tight as before, but tight enough that I wouldn't be able to pull away. I grow silent, realizing these facts. He looks down at me with intense eyes, yet they were so soft and soothing.

I gulp as he softens his own look. I can faintly smell honey, and the image of his lips on mine fill my head. Kissing let to love making. I whimpered, his lips mere centimeters from mine.

Lean up you coward!

A banging was head on the door. I jolted from my daydream and Sollux quickly pulled away. I felt my face heat up.

"Stop making out with your boyfriend!" Mituna yelled from outside the door. I blushed even brighter.

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Sollux shouts back. Mituna only laughed then seemed to walk away. "Sorry. He's probably just jealous. Stupid gay bastard." I chuckle at Sollux's words.

"Um..." I look up at him, who instantly got interested with what I was about to ask. "I k-know you said you weren't... but...y-you're nnot... g-g..."

"Gay?" I blush as he finishes my sentence. I nod and he smiles. "Nope... I'm actually very straight. But... I'd be lying if I said I didn't like a certian beat up raven."

I blush and quickly look away. Damn it! No! I'm Gamzee's! I can't go off and be with Sollux just because he's cute!

No! Not cute!

"W-Were you gonna..?" I ask in a whispered voice.

He only chuckles and lies down on the other side of the bed. His slender frame shone so much better as gravity did its job and pulled his clothes down against his body. And holy fuck he seemed perfect. He didn't have much muscles, but his long almost skinny frame had all the access of fat distributed evenly on his body. It was perfect. His stomach was flat and I just just slightly see his blue and red boxers, which peeked above his pants.

"You're checking me out," Sollux said, interrupting my thoughts. I blush brightly and glare at the floor. Fuck! fuck fuck fuck! He chuckled again. "Yes, I was."

I gulp, it taking a bit for what he was talking about to register. He was going to kiss me? "W-Why?" I look back over at him, my face still burning with embarrassment.

He glared over at me, making me gasp, but I kept my gaze. His eyes lit up with frustration. I wanted him.

Fucking hell! NO! No I don't! I want Gamzee! And I want to go hom e without a reason to be beaten!

"I know it's stupid," Sollux began, his voice angry. "We barely even know each other!" he snaps, but I could hear the slight sadness. "You're abused and I'm the guy with an insane brother and disgusting eyes!"

My expression drops. Disgusting eyes. My stomach flips. I clench my jaw and glare over at Sollux. Disgusting eyes my ass! I quickly climb onto Sollux's waist, ignoring his exclamations. I grab his face in my hands, glaring into his multicolored eyes with my dull grey ones.

"Your fucking eyes are beautiful! MY EYES! MY EYES ARE UGLY AND DISGUSTING!" I glare harshly down at him, ignoring how much his face lit up with embarrassment. "OKAY?!"

Sollux couldn't seem to find his words. He nodded silently, staring dumbfounded by my actions.

I growled and climbed off. "And I'm not abused!" I sit on the edge of the bed, glaring down at my bare feet.

Sollux finally seemed to get his thoughts together as he cleared his throat and sat up. "I... Well, I as going somewhere with what I was saying..." I looked over to him, his face still pink. "I was going to suggest we get to know each other better... or you could... climb onto my lap again and yell at me."

I flush. "N-No... I won't d-do that..."

"Well, I'm open for questions," Sollux said, fixing his glasses and smiling. Fuck! Where the hell am I supposed to start?!


	12. Chapter 12

I flush and nod, looking around the room. What in the world am I going to ask?My eyes are drawn to all the scattered cords around the room. "Well, what's with all the cables?" I ask quietly, looking back at him.

He was fixing his clothes from when I had climbed onto him, his face with still tinted with red. "Oh, um, they're for everything really... Bed, lights, stereo, cameras. Lots of cameras." He smirked widely and looked at me, his eyes gleaming.

"C-Cameras?" I ask timidly. Was he recording that whole thing?!

"Yup. They're all over the house. Downstairs, Mituna's room, my dad's room, the bathrooms. Oh, even in here!"

Fuck!

"But they only show live feed on my computer. I don't like storing the video files unless they're interesting," he chuckles. "Like whenever Mituna and Latula got it on in his room."

I blushed brightly. He recorded his brother having sex?!

"C-Can I..?" Fuck! Mouth! Shut up! No! You can't watch it!

Sollux looked up at me surprised. "You... want to watch it?" I gulp and look away. No! I don't! Why can't I just keep my damned mouth shut around him?!

He stands up and walks over to his computer and starts pulling up what looked like video files. Fuck! He turned around and motioned for me to come over as he sat down in his swivel chair.

Fuck!

My legs moved on there own, independent of what my head was screaming. Sollux motioned for me to sit on his lap.

Double fuck!

I hesitantly sat down on his lap, forcing my breath to stabilize. Damn it! I'm going to watch porn while sitting on a guy's lap. Great idea! Really, Karkat. The best you've made this whole fucking day!

Sollux clicked open a video and turned the volume down to a mere 4. I watched as the familiar frizzy haired blonde unbuckled his pants, the dark haired Latula lying back on the bed, wearing only red frilly bra and panties. I gulped and licked my lips unconsciously. I was drawn to the choppy movements of Mituna as he pulled his clothes off and moved inbetween his girlfriends legs.

I imagined Sollux leaning over a very familiar figure. One with bruised skin and messy black hair. As Mituna kissed Latula's neck, Sollux kissed the figure's in my fantasy.

I writhed in Sollux's lap, feeling my groin stir in excitement. Mituna slid Latula's underwear off and quickly moved his waist in place of them, thrusting quickly into her. I shuddered and glanced away. Fuck! Too much! Sollux quickly exited the video.

"Are you okay?! I know you're not into th-" I heard Sollux cut himself off. I looked down at myself. My erection tenting my sweatpants.

"FUCK!" I say loudly, quickly jumping off of Sollux's lap. I turn away from him and stick my hand into my briefs, fixing my member so it was propped up. It stood just above my waist line. I internally curse myself for the first time for not being small enough. I pull my sweater own my torso and over the my crotch, hiding the flushed tip of my member.

"I didn't think you'd get.." Sollux began. "Shit... I could leave... You could... watch the video and..." he cleared his throat "deal with you... problem..."

I didn't dare look back at him. Fuck! And I was even thinking about him. Double fuck!

"No..." I whisper out. "I'll just let it die down..."

He sighs and starts clicking on his computer. "Do you wanna watch a movie? An actual movie?"

I gulp and turn towards him. I haven't seen a movie ever since Gamzee and I moved to the motel. I nodded, holding my sweater down tightly. He smiled and motioned for me to sit on him again. I clenched my fists. Damn, why am I doing this?!

I walk over and sit back down in his lap. He adjusts us around, so my legs hung over on of the arms and our arms are wrapped around each other. It was surprisingly comfortable. I could faintly hear his heart beat. So slow and steady, unlike mine.

Ba dum... Ba dum... Ba dum...

I can almost feel myself falling asleep to the rhythm. He clicks 'genres' and looks down at me. I blush and quickly refix my sweater.

"Any requests?" Sollux asks kindly, obviously trying his hardest not to look down at my erection.

"RomCom... Please," I say quietly, writhing slightly in his arms. He smiles and clicks 'Romance Comedies'. We end up watching a two hour long movie neither of us had seen before.

Why does this seem to natural and perfect?

XxX

Sollux placed a plate of honey waffles on front of me, onto the table. After the movie, Sollux insisted I eat something, since I left the motel without lunch. Not that I really cared, I often go whole days without food. Even so, Sollux had made some waffles, and damn they smelled amazing.

"You want some syrup?" Sollux asked kindly. I nod and he pours some maple syrup onto my waffles. I have never actually eaten waffles before.

"Thanks," I say before scooping a large bite into my mouth. The taste of honey and syrup flooded my mouth and an unconscious hum escaped my throat.

Sollux chuckled and wiped syrup off my mouth with a paper napkin. "You're so messy."

I sile slightly before swallowing and taking another large bite. It tasted good, why does Gamzee eat pie instead of Sollux's honey waffles? They're delicious!

(A.N: Okay, okay, I know I haven't posted for a bit... But still... hope you enjoy this piece I have up already... um... its just, the chapter I'm working on doesn't want to work... and its bugging the crap out of me... Ugh... okay... sorry)


	13. Chapter 13

Mituna suddenly walks into the dining room and props himself up against the table beside me. He looks down at me and I bite my lip seeing his eyes hidden behind his hair. So much like Sollux's. I hold back a gasp as he sticks his tongue out to me again, he twisted his tongue so the two sides split even more.

"Stop it, Mituna." Sollux grumbled at his brother.

The frizzy haired blond looked over at his brother and scowled. "What? It's funny. It's like he's never seen a split tongue before."

"He probably hasn't until he saw yours!" Sollux quickly snaps back. "Stop being suck a jerk!"

Mituna growled and looked back over at me. I gulp in fear. "What happened to your face anyway?"

I blush brightly and turn my head away from Mituna, using a free hand to try and cover what I could of my bruised face. Damn it! Damn him! "N-NOTHING!"

"Leave him alone, dude!" Sollux shouted, walking over and pulling his brother away from me.

Mituna only chuckled. "Tsk. It's not my fault your boyfriend is some guy who gets beat up because he can't do anything about it!" I clenched my jaw and looked back over at Sollux who was roughly trying to push his brother out of the dining room.

"Go away! Now, Mituna!" Sollux growled struggling with pushing his brother. "Plus he's not my boyfriend!"

Mituna rolled his eyes and stepped willingly out of the room, sticking his tongue out at me before disappearing behind the wall. I shuddered. Who could possibly so that to their tongue?! Wouldn't it hurt?!

"Sorry, KK. He's a dickwad with major mental problems." I gulp and nod, quickly taking another large bite of food, avoiding having to comment further. "He doesn't understand other people's boundaries..."

Sollux seemed to withdraw after saying that. Hi mind seemed to be somewhere else and it made my curiosity grow and want to know about him even more. He seemed sad... and hurt. I mumbled through my food, hoping to pull him out of his daze. He blinks his beautiful eyes and smiles over at me.

"So, when does Mr. Abuser want you back?" Sollux asks in a teasing tone.

I swallow my food and wring my hands together, fighting against defending Gamzee. But that wouldn't get me anything. "W-Well.. he kicked my out for stealing his drugs, which I didn't! But, I think he'll want me back by tomorrow... But... I should get back and sleep outside of the motel... Just in case he needs me."

"Needs you? Like... sexual need?"

I flush and look down, I begin glaring at my half eaten waffles which still smelled so sweet. "S-Sometimes... Or if he gets angry."

Sollux sighed and nodded. "So, I should get you back as soon as possible now? It's almost dark after all." He glanced over at a wall clock. 6:48.

I gulp and take another large bite of the sweet waffles. "-ish is gu-d," I mumble out through the food stuffed in my mouth.

Sollux burst into a fit of laughter. His eyes sparkled with the beginning of tear of happiness. He held his belly gently. I smiled at his reaction. Do I really want to go back now? Couldn't I just stay here with Sollux, watching stupid RomComs and eating honey waffles. Of course not... Stop thinking like that.

"Thank you, KK," Sollux managed to say as his laughter died down a bit. He sighed and ruffled my hair. I smiled at him.

He makes me so happy.

Once I've finished my waffles, Sollux takes the plate and walks into the kitchen. I quickly scramble up out of my seat and followed him. I watched his body as he washed the plate in the sink.

His shirt falls loosely over his torso, his pants hugging his legs slightly, showing off his butt. I gulp as his arms flex and unflex. His hands worked nicely over the glass plate. His hand were so slender and his face built so perfectly. His hair fell nicely over the sides of his face. I could slightly feel my mouth watering as I looked over his legs again.

"You're doing it again," Sollux said, interrupting my thoughts. He smirked. I blushed brightly and turned my face away. "Seriously, do you make a habit of mentally stripping other guys?" he teases, walking over and ruffling my hair.

I could feel my face heat up even more. I wasn't undressing him! Was I? I mean, he probably looked even better under those clothes. Wait, what?! No! Stop it! He chuckles and leads my out of the kitchen to the front door.

"So, where'd you put your shoes?" Sollux asked, pulling on two different colored converse. I gulp hard and wring my hands together.

"I... didn't have any..." I mumble, my hands grinding roughly against each other. How could I have been so stupid. Of course he'd ask that! And of course he'd get worried or upset!

Sollux only hummed and grabbed a pair of yellow striped boots. "These are Mituna's. I'll being you home, then I can just carry them back."

I shake my head, denying the offer. "I can just walk like this. I did once already today."

Sollux sighed and tossed the boots away. He pursed his lips, looking like he was trying to think of Something. What? I have no clue.

"I've got an idea!" Sollux exclaimed smiling brightly. My heart cried out to me, begging me to stay with him.

"W-What is it?" I ask curiously. His grin only brightened, and a whimper escaped my throat. I coughed, trying to cover it up. I can't have him! I'm not his! And he's not mine!

Sollux suddenly grabbed my underarms and pulled me off my feet. I gasped and struggled slightly at the contact. He maneuvered me so I was on his back, hugging his neck. He jumped slightly to lift me up and then put his forearms under my butt. I blushed feeling one of his hands pressed against me.

I held his neck tighter, too tight apparently since Sollux coughed and growled. I gulped and loosened my grip.

Fucking insane blond! Carrying me?! WHY?!

He walks me out of the house and down the pavement. "So, which way's your place?"

I pause. "The motel that's about seven blocks that way." I pointed towards where Latula pulled me from. He nodded and walked that way, adjusting me, his hands pressed firmly against my ass. Dammit, if I get a boner here I'm going to kill myself. His hands were large though, they held me comfortably.

I heard Sollux grunt as he jumped up so he was able to hold me better again. I pulled a hand from around his and moved it to his hair. My finger mangled in with the blonde strands. Against what I had expected, his hair wasn't soft, it was more tangled than it looked. I slowly brushed through the locks, smoothing it out slightly.

Sollux chuckled. "Having fun messing with me while I can barely move?" I giggle and slid my hands to the side of his head, my fingers feeling the metal of his glasses.

I smirked and took his glasses off his face. I wonder how blind he really is.

(A.N: Okay, I won't be able to update this for a week or so. Sorry. But I'm sure you can wait it out by rereading or reading another fanfic ^^" Anyway, thanks for continuing to read~)


	14. Chapter 14

I slowly pull the glasses off his face, only getting a growl from him. I put them on my own face, over my eyes, and everything went blurry. I could barely see a thing. My head spinned.

"Wow, you really are blind!" I exclaim, pulling the glasses off my face quickly sliding them back onto his. He tsked and wiggled his nose, trying to fix the position of his glasses. It was cute.

"Yeah, Mituna's just as blind but he never wears glasses. He's gotten contacts be he broke those the second day he had them." I smiled and slid my hands down his chest instead of wrapping my arms around his throat. His flat chest made my groin stir, along with the feeling of him gripping my butt a little tighter. Fuck! Stop it!

"Does a famous person share your name?" I ask out of the blue, remembering how familiar his name sounded to me at first.

Sollux only laughed louder. "Not person, per say. My dad thought it'd be funny to name me after the Gemini constellation. Pollux and Castor. Since my last name is Captor," he emphasized the 'P' "he named me Sollux. Switching the S and P in the twins' names."

I gulped. Wow. That sounds pretty... complicated... but cool. I think I was named after something to do with a crab or cancer or something stupid like that. I sigh and nuzzle my face against his hair. He smells like honey, it's so nice and relaxing.

"What was his name again? You've said it before, but... I can't quiet remember," Sollux said, interrupting my nuzzling.

"Oh... Gamzee... Makara, I think." I press my fingers into the skin of Sollux's chest, he groaned and re-positioned me. "What was that?" I ask, teasing his chest again.

Sollux gasped. "Stop. I have a... nnah..." he groaned as I moved a hand to one of his nipples. Was he really this easy to tease?

"Here too?" I ask, using both my hands on each of his nipples. I imagined the fabric of his shirt would stimulate more feeling. Sollux growled and moved me around and pressed me against a rock wall we were passing. I gulped as I saw his dilated pupils.

"I don't want to rape you! So please, stop!" I flush brightly as he said 'rape'. Would it even be rape? Deep down I know I want it too. I nod and he sighs, changing personalities again. He smiles and ruffles my hair. "Who knew you were such a tease?"

"Says the one groping my ass!" I snap. He only chuckles and nods.

"You have such a squishable butt, though." I blush brighter and start walking.

Sollux tsks and quickly picks me back up, in a firefighter hold. I grab his neck in surprise. I shiver and he only smirks down at me. I look away as he continues to walk. We reach the motel without another word. It was already dark and the lights of the motel sign lit up Sollux's face. I grumbled as he sat me down.

"So which one's yours?" Sollux asked, looking at the motels rooms.

"Ten..." I mumble walking towards the room, Sollux following behind me. I quickly stop and pull Sollux back to the sidewalk. Gamzee can't see Sollux! "He can't see you!" I say quickly.

He nods and smiles. No! Gamzee's right over there! I can't get all goo-goo eyed with Sollux!

"I can walk myself to my room!"

Sollux sighed and nodded, quickly grabbing my face. I see his kind eyes before I feel lips against my own. I whimper and for some reason feel my heart pull apart in two directions. One side pulled to Sollux and the other pulled towards Gamzee. I whimpered and before I had a chance to think anymore, the kiss was over.

I felt fear build up in my as the side that claimed itself to Sollux felt empty. The other side scolded me. I clench my jaw and run to my motel room, away from Sollux. I don't look back as I come to see Gamzee with the door open glaring at me. Fuck! My heart screams and tells him everything... I have to. I can't not tell.

I run to him, feeling the eye burning tears start to build up. "I'm sorry! I left! I went to Sollux's! He kissed me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Gamzee!"

Gamzee's face grew angrier as the words spilled out of my mouth. The light from the room inside the motel outlined his very tall, toned body. I whimpered as his expression told me to come inside to get my beating.

I Knew I'd be kicked back out once the beating was over, but I needed the punishment. I walked in and Gamzee shut the door. I turned to Gamzee who pulled his leather belt off and folded it in half. I soon felt the hard leather snap my face to the side. My cheek burned terribly. The tears escaped from my eyes as another snap came across my neck. I feel to my knees and Gamzee kicked me over the rest of the way.

I soon felt the hard boot stomp on mt stomach. I gasped and yelped loudly.

I whispered as soon as I could, "Thank you..."

(A.N: Hey, sorry I've been gone so long. I was at my grandparents and you know how that can be xD not really a way to update this from there)


	15. Chapter 15

I curled up in a ball of pain outside my motel room. It was freezing and all I had was a pair of sweat pants and a sweater. I could feel the bones in my wrist ache from Gamzee gripping too hard. My back ached from Gamzee stomping on me. My face and neck hurt from the belt slapping me.

I wanted -no I NEEDED- to sleep. My eyes were heavy, but my body pains kept me from slipping just over the edge. I whimpered and hugged myself tighter. I deserved all of that though. I let Sollux KISS me! I let him grope my ass! I went over to his house for fucks sake!

It was his damned eyes! Those fucking blue and brown orbs kept me there! His fucking smile, his laugh, his... his touch.

He was so kind. So soft. So beautiful, like someone that should be painted in the sky.

I scoffed at myself. No, that sounds stupid. Just because he's nice to me doesn't mean he isn't nice to everyone. But, then again, Gamzee was nice to Tavros.

Am I Sollux's Tavros? I grind my teeth. No. That's a stupid thing to think. Sollux wouldn't, and doesn't, want me. He just pities me because Gamzee treats me how I should be treated.

But... deep down I can feel myself knowing I want his love. Hell, it isn't even that deep. I want it. I want him. I do. But that doesn't mean I get him.

I'm Gamzee's.

"Only Gamzee's," I whisper to myself. I feel the familiar pull and I willingly fall into it. My mind turning blank as I fell asleep.

xXx

I found myself in a pool of green slime. I have no idea how I got here though. But it felt nice and relaxing, for only reaching past my knees. I sigh and relax into it more. My anxieties seemed to blur. I felt two hands slide around my waist from behind. I looked down to see grey hands and arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I hummed and turned to see who it was, coming face to face with a black haired, horned version of Sollux.

His glasses seemed to be 3-D though, for some reason. And he was four horns. He reached his hand up and touched something on my head that made a quiver run through my body.

I slowly brought my own hand up to meet his, soon feeling two nubby horns. I moaned as the Sollux alien rubbed them softly. I felt something push on the back of my knees and somehow I knew it was safe, so I willingly fell back onto a seat, the slime coming up to my chest now.

Sollux smirked and took his glasses off, revealing two bright colored eyes. One bright red the other bright blue. I brought a now slime cover hand to his grey face and trailed it up to meet his pointy horns. I slowly rubbed them as he did to me, he closed his eyes and hummed, climbing down onto the seat in front of me.

I felt a stirring in my groin. I reached down to try and touch myself, only to feel a wriggling tentacle. It seemed to be part of my body, but I couldn't quiet control what it was doing. I quickly pulled my hand away.

"Relax, KK," Sollux cooed, sliding a hand down my stomach to my strange member.

I moaned as he manipulated it to stay still, I wrapped around his wrist slightly. I shivered and looked up at Sollux's strange eyes. He smiled and took my hand, moving it to his own wriggling member.

I gasped as I felt two tentacles wrap around my wrist. He chuckled and helped move my hand, trying to show me how to control the strange organs. I glanced back up at him and he smiled. He leaned over and kissed me deeply, a skilled tongue suckling and toying with my own. He leaned me against the back of the seat and moved further between my legs.

He slid his finger from my cock to where my balls should be but he only slid his fingers into a wet slit. I moaned loudly and arched my back.

"Has no one ever used your nook before, KK?" Sollux whispers seductively, amking me arch up as he swirls his fingers in me.

Is this what girls feel like when they have sex? It feels so good!

Sollux slipped a third finger into me. I moaned loudly and my head kicked back. Sollux chuckled and stretched me out.

He pulled his fingers out and pushed himself against me. He removed my limp hand from his needy members and moved his hands to my horns. I whimpered as I felt him rub them softly.

"Relax, KK," Sollux whispered as he thrust one of his tentacles into me. I moaned loudly in want and lust. The wriggling cock in me made me writhe in odd pleasure. Sollux thrust in and out of me slowly, picking up speed with each thrust. He gripped my waist and I felt his other cock wrap itself around my own.

It was a dance now. He led me through everything, and all I had to do was follow. Bother our bodies and mind wrapped in our own and each other's pleasure and ecstasy. He moved deeper, and hit spots I didn't know existed, ever.

A strange feeling, mixed with the familiar feeling of orgasm came over me. I felt the muscles in my nook clench as my tentacle spurt bright red liquid into the slime around us. I heard Sollux groan and felt hot, yellow cum get shot into me, along with it mingling with my red.

I shuddered as he pulled away, and I fell back into unconsciousness again.

xXx

I jolted awake, feeling my pants wet and sticky. I looked around to realize I was still outside. It was sunrise and I felt the cold autumn air whisk over my body. I groaned and shifted around on the cold pavement. I need new pants. Badly.

I groan again as I climb to my feet. I force myself to ignore the pain caused from last night that rattled through my body. I reached for the door handle, praying it wasn't locked. It turned and relief washed over me as the door eased open.

I quickly shuffled to the bedroom, seeing Gamzee still asleep in the bed. He looks so peaceful. Though his scars still intimidate me. After all, who would want to wake up a man with three scars down his face?

I pull my pants off and grab another pair of pants. I don't like this pair, they're scratchy and hurt my legs. I'm going to need to ask Gamzee if I can go buy some new clothes or something.

I hear Gamzee roll around in the bed, mumbling something under his breath. I've heard him sleep talk before, but nothing coherent ever escapes his lips. Though I've heard Tavros' name a few times the other month.

I stretch my muscles and force myself not to climb into the bed with him. I trudge back out of the bedroom and back outside. I'd be beaten again if Gamzee saw me inside before I should be.

I sigh and lean against the now closed door. Why did I tell him? Why did I tell him that I was with Sollux? I could have stayed quiet about it and said I had gone on a walk. I could have lied. Why didn't I?

Because I want him to be... jealous? He's not jealous. He can't be.

(A.N: Okay, This is a long chapter because I need to make it up to you guys for posting like a snail. I'm sorry. I've been stuck on a chapter... I've had my mind wrapped around other Fanfics... its just chaos... I'm sorry)


	16. Chapter 16

Gamzee roughly pulled me back into the motel room, tossing me back onto the couch. His indigo eyes flamed but still looked sad. I gulped and shivered as Gamzee glared over my body.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE ME?!" he barked, making me flinch in fear. "You run off and get fucked by some other damned mother fucker?!"

I shivered and pulled my knees to my chest. My grey eyes met Gamzee's, I gasped and quickly looked away. Don't look!

A hard force threw my head in the other direction. Gamzee shook his fist as my nose began to bleed. I whimpered feeling the pain radiating through my skull from the punch as I pressed my hand against the bleeding nostrils.

"You're mine, you understand?!" he shouted. I shuddered and nodded. "You're never going to leave me!"

"Yes... I'll never leave..." I whimper out, blood running past my hand, down my mouth and chin onto my shirt and pants.

"WHAT WAS THAT MOTHER FUCKER?!"

I flinch and screw my eyes shut. "I won't leave! I won't leave... I promise..." I felt the blinding hot tears start building up behind my eyelids. I never want to leave. I deserve less than what he gives me. Why would I ever want anything more?

"Good, " Gamzee scowled, grabbing my hair. I yelped and brought my bloody hands up to his, trying to dull the pain.

I felt Gamzee lift me up and my legs feel from their place at my chest back down onto the floor. The drunkards hand trailed down my clothed chest into my pants. I whimpered loudly as Gamzee gripped my manhood. He tugged roughly making my tears roll down my cheeks.

"He touched down here, huh? Made you beg for more mother fucking pleasure?!" Gamzee squeezed me hard. "Well you don't get any from me! You know why mother fucker?!"

I whimpered and writhed in Gamzee's grip, my scalp and member screamed in pain. My tears told Gamzee this, along with the blood dripping from my nose. Though, he didn't care in the slightest.

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS!" Gamzee screamed into my ear. I flinched and let my sobs escape my throat.

"P-Plea-Please st-stahp G-Gamz-zee!" I cried out, my red stained hands gripping his wrists.

Gamzee glared at me and squeezed my cock harder I screamed in pain, my fingernails digging into Gamzee's skin.

"TELL ME! Tell me you'll never leave!" Gamzee barked, his grip on my hair tightening.

"I'll... I'll n-never! I'll never le-leave! I pr-promise!" I sob out. Gamzee tsked and released me, my limp body falling onto the couch.

Never... I'll never leave, Gamzee... Please...

I love you.


	17. Chapter 17

For the next week I tried going on normally. Gamzee goes to work, I stay home, he comes back, I get beat. Repeat. I did anything to keep my mind off Sollux. He's bad for me. He's making me question things I never used to question. I sighed and hugged myself as Gamzee walked out of the motel with a bag full of drugs. I wished he would stay for a day... Even if it meant I get beaten the whole time. I just need him alone with me.

I buried my face in my pants as I felt alone in the motel. Its so empty without Gamzee.

I jumped in surprise in surprise as I heard a knock on the door. No one comes here. Gamzee wouldn't ever knock... My heart raced as I stared at up at the door. I stood up one shaky legs and walked to the door. What if its the motel people? Are we being kicked out?! I thought we paid two weeks ago!

I slowly opened the door to see familiar blond with glasses and gorgeous eyes in front of me. I gulped and stared at him, speechless.

"Hey, KK," Sollux said quietly. "I'm sorry... but I had to see you..."

I tsked and turned my face away. No he didn't. He didn't HAVE to do anything! "Gamzee left, so... You can't stay here," I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Is this about the kiss? I'm sorry about that... I know I shouldn't-"

"No, not the kiss... I can't see you... Gamzee wasn't happy. I wasn't happy." That's a lie! I was happy with him.

Sollux pushed his glasses up and rung his hands together. "KK, I was just hoping that I could tell you something. Like, why I want to... to keep you away from him."

I gulped and looked up into his eyes which were averted away from me. I nodded and walked back into the motel room. The scruffy blond walked in after me as I sat back on the couch. He sits down after me on the other end. He looked around the room, grimacing slightly at the state of the motel. He kicked a couple bottles away from his feet.

"Well, my father... as I've mentioned a few times, he has a type of girlfriend... Kind of like your boyfriend."

I gulp hard and pull my knees to my chest. Do I want to hear this story? Do I even want to hear Sollux?

"He usually comes home all beat up. Not as bad as you, since she tries hiding it... But... One time he came home with these terrible burns on his arms... Apparently she had dumped acid onto both his arms because he wanted to come home to see Mituna and I... Mituna got upset when he found out, really upset, and he went out drinking with some of his friends."

I ducked my head down, scared of where this was going.

"My dad told me two things that night... Don't ever drink out your problems, and don't let anyone suffer like he does... I don't want to force you to leave, KK. But..."

I turned my face away. I can't be hearing this. He doesn't have any GOOD reason to tell me this! He can't care! No one does.

"I care about you, Karkat."

Fuck! No! He doesn't! I hugged my knees tighter trying to hide my face. My heart was fluttering, and I can't believe I don't want him there. He's nice, how bad can he be?

"But, that same night, Mituna came into me room... wasted beyond belief, and, well, he did to me what he couldn't get out of Latula at the bar... He doesn't remember, and I don't plan on ever telling him what he did..."

I clutch my hands tightly together. What did he do exactly? "D-Did he... rape you?" I ask quietly, I was surprised Sollux even heard me at all.

"Yeah..."

I gulped and buried my face in my knees. "I know had it hurts... Physically and mentally..."

Sollux nodded. "That's why I want you away from this Gamzee even more... Because whatever he does to you, it eats you. Rape and abuse eats you! What he tells you, you start to believe it..."

I look over at his sorrowful eyes. My breath quivered. Dammit. Dammit! Not here! Tears built up in my eyes. I sniffed and tried to keep them from falling down my face. A quiet whimper clawed its way out of my throat. I shivered as I felt the hot tears run over my cheeks, I barely managed to choke back the sob that followed.

Sollux was surprised, it seemed. He moved closer and put an arm around me. I crawled as close as I could manage and lied my head down on his chest. His hand pet my hair gently. My tears rolled onto his shit, making a small wet spot. I sniffed up the mucus that filled my nose, and I tried stopping the tears from falling.

"Sh... Shh... It's okay... I'm here..." Sollux whispered, running his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, now sticky and gross with the salt water tears.

"I can't leave himm!" I choke out. "I promised him!"

Sollux sighed and ran a hand down my back lightly before going back to my hair. I don't know whether he didn't know what to say, or just felt like staying quiet, either way, the silence was comforting.

His fingers intertwined with my hair in a soothing motion. I sniffed and forced myself to fully stop crying. My tears already soaked the part of his shirt. I shivered and nuzzled my face into his chest. I didn't want him to leave. I want him to sit there forever and keep petting me.

"Please... Sollux... I can't... I can't leave him... Ever..." I sniffed, the gross liquid from my nose running down my throat.

"KK, please... If you leave him, you... Hell, I'll even let you stay with me. I'll take care of you. I'll treat you how you deserve to be treated."

Deserved? I don't deserve him! He's too good for me!

I roughly pushed Sollux away, sitting straight up. The mucus in the back of my throat stuffing my breathing.

"I deserve less than that! I DESERVE less than Gamzee! I should be rotting in a gutter! I should be dead!" I scream, feeling my brows furrow. I looked at Sollux, his eyes grew sadder, emptier. My heart ached seeing him like that.

"KK, please... Surely you don't believe that. He's lying to you. You know-"

"Just go! I don't care! I don't..." I stood up and hugged myself, my throat still stuffy. "Please leave... You shouldn't be here." I turned away from Sollux, scared to see his face again.

"Please, Karkat, let me-"

"LEAVE!" I shout, pointing to the door.

Sollux angrily stood up. Even though I wasn't looking, I could tell Sollux was glaring at me. "Leave?! KK, you can't stay here! Please! I can't sleep knowing you're here with that monster being beaten and raped!"

"NOW, SOLLUX! This is my motel! Leave now or I call Gamzee!" I look up at the blond, trying to look as angry as I feel.

Sollux pulled his glasses off and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not leaving. If you're calling him, fine. I'm staying."

I ground my teeth and walked over to the phone. I don't want to call him, he'll beat me for sure. I took a deep breath and took the phone, quickly punching in the digits. I held the phone to my ear as it rung. I looked over at Sollux who crossed his arms.

I heard the phone click. "Bitch, why the fuck are you calling me?!" Gamzee shouted into the phone. I winced.

"I need you to come home... Sollux is over and won't leave..."

There was a pause. I clutched the phone tightly and looked at the blond who hadn't moved an inch. I'm going to be beaten so hard today.

I suddenly heard a bunch of cusses on the other end of the call, I heard another male who was complaining about not getting his drugs. The call quickly hung up and I just pulled it from my ear to stare at it. He's coming right now...

Sollux walked over his eyebrows raised. "Well?"

I put the phone back and hug myself. "He's coming..."

I noticed a slight hint of fear in Sollux's eyes, but it vanished quickly. He shrugged and went and sat down on the couch again. I looked down at the floor, the blood stains seemed to be more noticeable than usual. I quickly walked over and climbed into Gamzee's chair, curling up. I stick a hand down into the cushion, looking for any calming drugs. I soon find a half smoked joint of pot. I dig around more, hoping to find a lighter. I do and quickly light the joint.

I'm already getting a beating of a life time, it won't be too bad to just smoke this. I take a long drag, letting the drug sink into my lungs. I sigh out, the smoke floating up to the ceiling.

I had just finished the joint when Gamzee angrily walked into the room. I tossed the end of the blunt onto the floor as Gamzee walked over to Sollux. The blond gulped and stood up.

"Why the fuck are you here?! DID MY SLUT CALL YOU OVER?!" Gamzee shouted. I hugged myself, scared what's coming.

(A.N: Okay, this is REALLY long. Also, I hadn't written it like this originally. But I like how it came out xD Also, I'm catching up with myself to where I've written and where I'm publishing, and I'm running low on ideas, and I REALLY don't mind some ideas being thrown my way~ *wink wink*)


	18. Chapter 18

Sollux took his glasses off and put them in his pocket. "No. I came over myself. I was checking in on-"

I gasped as Gamzee punched Sollux hard in the face. I covered my mouth and forced myself not to run over to him. The blond stumbled around and brought his hand to his bleeding mouth. I hugged myself tightly.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Gamzee grabbed Sollux's shirt, quickly punching him again. I quickly gripped my hair and screwed my eyes shut. This isn't happening. It's not.

Sollux was thrown to the floor, Gamzee quickly stomping onto his chest. I put my hands over my ears, trying to imagine anything but this. I should help him. I need to!

I open my eyes to see Sollux trying to scramble up and away from Gamzee's steel toed boot. I clench my jaw and jump up, quickly trying to stop Gamzee by pulling on his arm at hard as I could.

"Gamzee! Stop! Please!" I yell, as Gamzee stomped harder on Sollux's stomach. I gasped as the blond coughed up blood. My mind was racing, I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do. Gamzee turned to me, his indigo eyes piercing into me, making me feel like trying to save Sollux wasn't the right thing to do. I felt Gamzee grab my throat and push me up against a wall. My breathing suddenly stopped, I panicked and tried pulling Gamzee's hands off of me.

I felt hot tears run down my cheeks. When did I start crying? The question floated in my head, trying to distract me from what was happening. I could hear my own heart beat in my ears as Gamzee's grip tightened.

I gasped as I heard a loud crashing noise and Gamzee let go of my throat to hold his head. I coughed and sputtered for air, falling to my knees. I looked up to see a broken vodka bottle in Sollux's hand and glass shattered all around the floor. I'm going to have to clean that up later... I watched as Gamzee took another swing at Sollux, missing as Sollux moved out of the way of the predicted fist. I held my hands against my bruising neck as Sollux kicked Gamzee over.

"He's not a slut!" Sollux barked, kicking Gamzee's head hard, it bashing against the concrete floor. A whimper escaped as Gamzee stopped moving. I crawled over to Gamzee picking his bleeding head up off the floor. I looked over him as fresh tears ran over my face, I sighed in relief as I noticed his chest lifting and falling gently. Thank god.

I hugged him gently, feeling my tears of sadness turn to tears of relief. I don't know what I would have done if he was gone. I need him. I don't care what he does to me. I deserved it anyway. I sniffed as I looked up at Sollux with puffy red eyes.

"He's fine," Sollux said dryly. The blond sighed and rolled his head on his shoulders. "He was choking you to death and you still want to be with him?!"

I shiver and hold Gamzee closer. "Yes..."

Sollux growled and run his hands through his hair. "I was the one who fucking saved your life! DON'T I GET ANYTHING FOR THAT?!"

"No... If you hadn't come here... if you would have just left... you wouldn't have had to..." I sniffed and nuzzled my face into Gamzee's scruffy curly hair. It smelt like shampoo, alcohol, and a mixture of different drugs.

Sollux didn't reply. He didn't seem to even move for the longest time. When he did he didn't leave the motel, he went into the kitchen and brought out the trash bin. I glanced up at him confused. He brushed the broken glass into his hand, dumping it into the bin when he could hold anymore. By the time there wasn't anymore glass left, Sollux had many tiny bleeding cuts on his hands. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to want to leave with him. I wanted to hate Gamzee like Sollux does. But... I just can't. Sollux stood up and started tossing trash into the bin. Old pie tins, empty bottles, any drugs left out. It all was thrown away.

"What are you doing..?" I ask quietly.

"Cleaning. I don't want you to live like this. If I can't make you leave that abusive son of a bitch, I'm making sure your motel is clean and no damned drugs are out for you." Sollux cussed under his breath and moved to clean up the kitchen. I watched as he tossed the gross rotting food into the trash bin, clearing the table and the counters. He tossed the dirty silverware into the sink before pulling the full trash bag out of the bin and tying it tightly. He carried the bag over to the door before looking around the motel for another bag.

After a long while, Sollux seemed to have cleaned the whole motel. He through all the trash away, did most of the dishes and put any unfinished alcohol in the refrigerator. I sat on the floor the whole time, holding Gamzee on my lap. I felt like a dick for not helping Sollux, but why would I help the guy who knocked out the man I love?

(A.N: I bet Karkat's stubbornness is getting annoying, huh? Sorry, he'll crack soon ;) Don't worry)


	19. Chapter 19

Sollux had concluded that we should move Gamzee off the floor and into the bedroom. He helped me move him and put him in the blood stained bed.

He didn't want to stay any longer after that. He simply gave me a smile, which made my stomach get butterflies. I hadn't wanted him to leave, but I couldn't just ask him to stay.

So now I sat alone on the couch, simply thinking. Why can't I just leave? Gamzee won't do much about it.

It's because of that one night... So many years ago when he was so loving. Do I really expect him to ever love me? If I leave, I could make love with Sollux instead. I don't have to just love Gamzee.

But, because I love him, I shouldn't leave him. You don't leave someone you love.

But he doesn't love me, so why do I even bother? I should get up and walk out of the door. I don't need him, and he doesn't need me! For all I know, he already has a list of other available punching bags that could replace me. I don't doubt he does.

I sigh and look down at my bruised hands. They had less purple than I'm used to seeing. It made me smile, the fact that I was healing. If I left him, there would be no more bruises. I could look at myself in the mirror without seeing the blochy black and blue marks.

I heard movement in the bedroom and I held my breath. Gamzee's awake.

My breath forced itself out of my throat as I watched Gamzee lazily walk over to me. I forced my eyes to look away from him before he gets madder.

I flinch as he steps infront of me. My eyes shoot open as I feel the couch sink down next to me. I look over to see Gamzee sitting next to me. He glances over and I quickly avert my eyes.

My heart raced as if I was sitting next to a high school crush. Gamzee sighed and turned my head to face him, gentler than normal. He tilted my face up so I was looking right at him.

I reluctantly looked at him, scared he was going to hurt me. Though his face was relaxed and tired. I couldn't see any anger or rage, just... plain Gamzee. It made my stomach swirl.

He gently ran fingers over the bruises on my neck. I winced as he pressed a little too hard. He sighed and tilted my head down again, leveling my eyes with his.

A small whimper escaped my throat as I looked deep into Gamzee's sad indigo eyes. He glances over my body before running a hand through my tangled hair.

I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the rare gentle touch. My heart fluttered along with my stomach. I could feel Gamzee moving closer, and I kept my eyes closed afraid of opening my eyes and seeing anger again.

I gasped as I felt lips against my own. I opened my eyes to see Gamzee kissing me sweetly.

He has never kissed me. NEVER! I quickly kiss back, closing my eyes again. I feel the almost dry lips against my own. He gently rubs his tongue against my bottom lip.

I whimper as I open my mouth, letting Gamzee's playful tongue enter. I toyed back, my tongue dancing with his.

Though, the kiss ended all too soon. I whined, keeping my eyes closed, hoping Gamzee would kiss me again. I gasped and my eyes flew open as a harsh 'snap' hit my cheek, forcing my head to turn.

The slap stung my cheek as I looked back over at Gamzee who still had a calm expression.

"Stop being a whore!" Gamzee snapped, his face only showing a hint of annoyance. "You're mine. You understand?"

I nodded slowly, still able to feel the soft kiss on my lips.

"Where does he live?" Gamzee asked, a little calmer than expected. I could tell the anger was boiling up though.

I don't want to tell him. Why would I tell him where Sollux lives?! "N-Nowhere..." I whimper.

Gamzee tsks and leans in. I feel soft lips against mine again. I promptly kiss back, closing my eyes. Though once I had, Gamzee pulled away. I silently whined as the loss.

"Where does he live?" Gamzee asked again.

I slowly shook my head, keeping my eyes shut. I felt more lips, but this time peppering on my jawline. I whimpered quite audibly feeling Gamzee start to suck softly. Though he pulled away once I started to get aroused.

"Where does he live, Karkat?" Gamzee asked softly, I could feel his breath on my neck now. I whimpered, wriggling my hips around. The stirring in my groin was growing more and more apparent.

I gasped as I felt hot lips and tongue against my neck, nibbling and sucking gently. I moaned out quietly, falling for my lust and trying to arch my hips to meet anything of Gamzee.

I felt the mouth leave my neck, Gamzee's breath feathering across the wet spots of my neck, making me shiver in even more want and lust. I could hear Gamzee lick his lips.

"Tell me, Karkat. Please."

I moaned hearing him plead. I nod quickly wiggling my hips even more. I feel Gamzee lick down my neck, dipping into the small nook of my collar bone.

"Tell me," he breathed against my skin. I whimpered and nodded again.

"Yes! Yes, I will!" I whimper out.

"Tell me, Karkat. Where does he live?" I feel Gamzee start nibbling on my collarbone, making me shudder in want.

"T-Twenty-two... Hydra... L-Lane..." I pant out, my head falling back.

Oh god, yes. Gamzee I love you. I'll tell you whatever you want, just don't let this ever stop!

(A.N: OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry this took so long to post! I had terrible writers block, and school and art shit. I just hope you enjoy! I'll be posting another chapter tomorrow to make up for the whole week without the updates!)


	20. Chapter 20

"Good boy," Gamzee coos before pushing me down onto the couch, pulling my sweatpants off. I looked down, seeing my erection tenting the fabric of my briefs. The grey material looked stretched, as Gamzee tossed my pants aside. I quickly looked away, realizing my bruises could clearly be seen now.

Gamzee lifted one of my legs and brought my ankle to his lips, kissing it gently. I wriggled, my toes curling and uncurling as Gamzee licked and sucked softly on my leg. He quietly cursed and held me still with his free hand. He doesn't want me to move... At least not my legs. Obviously he doesn't want me, but I couldn't even dream of ruining this moment. He's so gentle, so slow.

I whimpered as he brought a hand to play with the bulge in my boxer briefs. I moaned out, feeling his hand through the rather rough fabric. He slowly rubbed the shaft, working down to massage my balls. I forced myself not to buck up into his hand. That would not go over well with him. I need to keep this going as long as I can.

Gamzee eventually set my leg back down, crawling up closer, lifting my sweater up as he did so. He moved himself in between my legs, leaning over to kiss my chest. I felt the gentle, caring lips against my bruised skin. I arched up as his mouth slipped over my nipple to play. I shivered as Gamzee began humping against me. I could feel his hardness through his rough jeans.

I shuddered hard as Gamzee bit my nipple hard. I could feel my breath getting heavier, and I could tell I was leaking gooey precum into my boxers already. All this was so much, and just so fucking good!

"G-Gamzee..." I breathed out, one of my hands finding their way through the shiver inducing lust to Gamzee's hair. I soon felt Gamzee move his own hands to undo his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers, struggling kicking them off. I whimpered quietly as he stood up to take his shirt off, leaving me half dressed on the couch. I tossed the idea of taking my own clothes off out of my head. He would probably get mad.

Once I saw Gamzee completely naked, I hummed in want, my eyes scanning over his lean figure. I gulped hard as he quickly pulled my briefs off in one swift pull, then my sweater followed. I watched as Gamzee tossed the clothes unceremoniously to the floor.

I whimpered a little louder than anticipated as he flipped me over onto my stomach, pulling my waist up. He slowly rubbed his member against my entrance, leaning over and kissing my extremely bruised back. I felt a purr rolled out of my mouth as I wriggled in his grip wanting more than this already.

Gamzee leaned back up, and I heard him spit hot saliva onto me before two thick digits pushed into me. I moaned quietly and buried my face in the couch cushion, my face flushed with arousal. I felt Gamzee's fingers fingers suddenly start scissoring roughly, making me whimper in slight pain. Though his fingers kept abusing my prostate, making small moans drip out of my mouth. His other hand slowly pet my back, soothing my writhing and squirming.

My hips starting rising to meet each of the finer's movements. I jumped and yelped as a third finger suddenly was pushed into me. The odd mix of extreme pleasure and the pain made whimpers mix with moans. I shuddered as he thrust the fingers in and out of me, his other hand soothing my movements slightly.

The digits pulled out after a while, making me feel empty and wanting. I yelped as something larger was thrust into me. I scream shortly into the couch, trying to force myself to calm down. The larger man started slowly moving in me, so much slower than I'm used to.

"Good boy," Gamzee breathed out, running his hands over my entire torso. "Such a good boy."

I whimper in want hearing the words of praise. So deep and raspy and wonderful. He slowly begins picking up the pace with his thrusts, my own want dripping in the pleading precum. His panting gets louder and his stroking soon come to a complete stop as he only grips my hips tightly. I cry out in mixed pleasure and disappointment as he begins only pleasing himself.

I reaching a shivering hand down to my own member, gripping the weeping organ. I jolted and moaned loudly as I began moving my hand against the hardness, I heard Gamzee groan and I picked up my pace, shuddering in so much arousal.

The heat between us was so extreme, I could feel the sweat start beading up on my face. I moaned loudly and shuddered as I felt cum suddenly spill over my hand, dripping down onto the couch. I was fucked roughly through my orgasm, Gamzee growling in his own world of pure lust and satisfaction. His grip seemed to tighten on my hips as he pounded into my now all too tender hole.

I whimpered as I felt the familiar hot liquid shoot into me. Gamzee groaned as he rested inside of me, letting the afterglow last as long as possible.

He sighed and pulled out of me, running a hand over my back before quickly cleaning himself off and leaving the couch. I whimpered quietly to myself realizing what just happened.

God, I love him so much.

(A.N: Hey! Okay, I am running SO FUCKING LOW on ideas, What ever has been given to me has been put into the world of possibilities, but I can't come up with anything to come after this chapter! I'm going to be posting another chapter soon though, it'll just be... more of a back story...  
But in the meantime: PLEASE, I'm begging, give me some ideas! If I don't get any by the second day AFTER I post the next chapter I'll just do another jump, into the story and skip a week or so.  
SO PLEASE REVIEW)


	21. Chapter 21

((A.N: This usually comes at the end, and I know most of you will skip this over, and I really don't care, I'm just making a note really quick. This chapter came to me way after I wrote the intended. So I'll be posting this then the flash back chapter in a couple days. Anyway, thank you all for all the reviews and the follows~))

I sat up on the couch as I recollected my thoughts. Gamzee had just made love to me.

I sighed happily and looked over in the direction Gamzee left to. I heard him talking on the phone in our bedroom. I smiled, feeling my muscles ache from the strange stress that was put on them mere moments ago. I'll never get used to that ache, though I hope I will one day anyway.

I wobbly get up and take my sweater up off the now clean floor, pulling it over my healing chest. I begin pulling on my pants when I start hearing Gamzee start to trash our room. I quickly pull on my sweatpants as Gamzee runs out of the room into the kitchen in a panic. He starts digging under the sink, hitting out any expired cleaning supplies in there. He then proceeded to search the cupboards, the trash even, before running to look under the couch cushions.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!" Gamzee yelled loudly. I flinched and clenched my hands.

"W-Where's what..?" I ask quietly, the familiar feeling of fear flooding into my happy feeling once again.

"MY MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!" he screams, running to his chair, pulling the seat cushions off, drugs and a few lighters falling helplessly to the floor. I furrowed my brows.

"Th-The stash under the bed?" I ask with a quivering voice. So much for the calm and loving Gamzee.

He turns to me, his face angrier than I could ever remember. His purple eyes filled with rage and hate. "YES THE MOTHER FUCKING STASH UNDER THE BED!"

I flinched and looked away from his eyes. "It's not there..?"

Gamzee growled and punched my hard across my face. I was knocked back, the side of me hitting the wall before falling hard to the floor. My shoulder screamed from the blow against the wall it just endured.

"YOU CLEANED THE MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE! YOU TELL ME!" He was fuming, his face red from the rage and anger.

Cleaned the house..? I didn't clean the-

No. No, no, no, no! He didn't. He couldn't have.

"WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?!"

I flinched and felt a sob escape my throat. "I didn't..." I whimpered out.

"DIDN'T WHAT?!"

"I didn't clean the motel..."

Gamzee's face turned to a mix between pure rage and confusion before turning back into rage. "YOU'RE LITTLE BLONDE WHORE FRIENDS STOLE MY PROVIDERS MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!"

I felt hot tears run down my face. No. He couldn't have. He couldn't have!

I felt Gamzee grab my hair before he knelt down. No. Gamzee quickly and strongly bashed my head against the concrete floor. I felt my brain slosh in my head before I felt the pain and heard the loud crack. My mind was out of my body as I felt my whole body start shaking. I felt a hot puddle begin to form under my head.

Blood. So much blood. I felt another blow, though it seemed to go in slow motion this time. I felt the hard concrete against my already cracking skull, my brain hit hard against the inside of my head, following the surge of pain and aches. The blood puddle grew large and faster. A trail of blood dripped into my eyes, stinging it terribly. My body didn't flail this time. It was motionless. Absolutely motionless. My limbs wouldn't move when I tried getting up. My chest didn't have that slight rise and fall from my breathing.

Breathing! Breath! Now! I'm not breathing! How do I breath?! What's going on?! I need to breath! I need to move!

I gasp weakly, barely getting any air into my lungs, but at least my chest is moving again. Thank god.


	22. Chapter 22

About four years ago, it was a dark night, there were clouds hiding the stars and moon, making it almost pitch black out. I was sitting in the back of the car with a few friends. Well, they weren't 'friends' exactly. I hung around them sometimes and I found them both attractive, that was really the only reason I agreed to come on this stupid outing.

Dave was driving, trying to keep up with the stupid rap music playing on the radio. He and I had a more 'friends with benefits' relationship.

"Can you shut the fuck up, Strider?" I say over the loud playing song. He only laughs and looks back at me in the back seat, his red eyes hidden by his sunglasses. Fucking idiot, wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. Who even does that? Oh, yeah! Douche-bags.

"Relax, dude! We're on a night out! You don't have to be such a sore ass all the time!" Dave replied, looking back to the road.

"Yeah, Karkat," John said from the passenger seat. Egbert is such a damn idiot. How he and Dave managed to become friends goes beyond my understanding. "You're supposed to have fun!"

I tsk. Fun. I always laughed at the idea. I grew up in a household where anything that didn't involve God was wrong. And I never found God to be a fun guy, thus I never had much 'fun' as a child should have.

"Whatever, when I get wasted beyond comprehension, which I won't, I'll stop complaining about this stupid fucking trip," I say dryly.

We eventually get to the bar on the other side of town. Dave had managed to get all three of us fake IDs, which surprisingly looked realistic, since he didn't use stupid clip art and gay names. We entered the bar, only having slight trouble with the bouncer, due to my height. But once in, everything was just fine.

Dave and John had split after taking quite a few shots, to go and flirt with girls no doubt. Well, at least John was. Dave, who seemed to have lower alcohol tolerance than John, was flirting with a picture of a mayor. Fucking idiot.

I sat at the bar and looked down at my drink. It was just a beer, but I knew someone was going to need to be sober by the end of the night. I ran my finger over the rim of the cup before bringing it up to my mouth to take a sip. I swallowed and set the cup back down. Damn, this is so boring.

I quickly jump out of my self-loathing as a tall man sat in the stool next to me. I looked over, only briefly before turning away. He seemed normal. Other than his height and his extremely messy hair. Oh! And that black and white make-up that made him look like a idiotic clown.

"Hey," he said, waving a hand rather dramatically. I turned and looked at him, his purple eyes meeting my own. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"I already have one, fuckass," I say back. He purses his lips and nods.

"Then I'll get you one after that... Then another, and another, hopefully getting you drunk by the end of the night." The seriousness in his voice scared me.

"Well, I'm not getting drunk. So fuck off," I say taking another drink of my beer. Damn this disgusting brand.

"You don't need to stay mother fuckin' sober. You, my brother, need another drink." Gamzee waved down the bartender and got a couple strong shots of something.

I remember drinking one reluctantly, then the rest of the night was fuzzy. Well, just most of the night. I remember puking in the toilet, and I'm pretty sure I made out with Dave that night somewhere. Whether it was before or after I puked, I had no idea. Then The last thing I remember was I was in Dave's car, naked in the backseat with that familiar tall man thrusting hard into me.

I remember crying and being punched a lot. I remember his hands holding my hips really tightly and harshly. I remember he was big, a lot bigger than Dave.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in Dave's futon couch. Literally in Dave's futon. I was under the mattress part, half asleep on the hard metal bars. I felt my ass start aching first. Next was my chest, it hurt whenever I tried breathing. It was bruised no doubt, but that could have been from sleeping on metal with a fifteen pound futon on top of me. And close to last was the headache from the hangover.

I groaned, and crawled out from under the futon mattress, feeling something gross and thick leak out of me. I curse myself, praying it wasn't anything too disgusting. I shakily stand up, feeling more leak out of me. I grimace as I walk to the bathroom. I knew Dave's brother was gone for the week, so I wouldn't need to worry about that insane anime addict.

Shutting the bathroom door behind me I quickly pull my pants and briefs down. I scowled at the sight of thick cum splattered and staining my underwear. I groaned and took the clothing off completely.

Seriously, Dave. Couldn't you have worn a condom, or cleaned me out? I ran a finger over my hole, gasping feeling a sting as my digit pressed against it. Ripped?

I sighed and washed my hands really quickly. Dammit Dave, you leave fucking semen in me, AND rip me?! Do you want me to get infected of whatever 'ironic' STDs you have?!

Once I rinse the soap off, I start prodding myself, getting off what cum I could without stretching myself. I leaned against the wall as I felt more and more cum leak out.

Fucking hell Dave! How many times did you fuck me?!

I groaned and slid one finger into myself, wincing as I felt the rips and tears inside of me. I need to clean myself out if I don't want an infection.

"DAVE!" I yell out. "Dave, are you there?!"

I heard a bunch of crashing and breaking, along with cursing before a red eyed teen stumbled into the room, his white hair messy and red eyes rimmed with dark circles. I looked over his body, seeing he was only wearing a pair of pink women's underwear.

"W-What..?" he slurs, looked over me with those eyes caused by lack of pigment. "Oh, what's this~?"

"Fuck you, Stider! I just need help cleaning your damned cum out of me."

Dave's brows furrowed. "My cum? I didn't get laid once last night..."

I scoffed. "Bullshit. I'm full of shitty cum! And a lot of it!"

Dave walked over and sloppily but harshly bent me over, running a finger over my entrance. I winced as his dirty finger pressed against the opened skin before pushing it into me. I yelped and tried standing back up, only to be held down. He scraped my insides, making me whimper, scooping out more cum.

I sighed in relief as his finger pulled out of me, only leaving the singing pain still to linger. I forced his hand off my back, that was keeping me bent, away so I could stand straight. I turned around to him seeing him wiping the gross thick fluid onto a nearby towel.

"Its not mine... I found you last night in my car... Must've happened while John and I were trying to sober up." Dave pushed me slightly. "Must have been one session! You're filled to the fuckin' brim, man!"

I grimaced thinking about it. Damn, it was that guy! That damn guy who got me wasted! He fucking did this! He fucking ripped me! Fuck him!

"It was..." I growled trying to remember his name "He told me his name! It was... Ugh... Gamzee! That's it!" I snapped my finger before realizing the situation fully. I felt rage boil up. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT BASTARD!"

(A.N: Last call for requests. I'm putting the plot together again, so if you want something put in here, I suggest writing you idea in the reviews, I read them all, and I'm so happy for all the reviews so far~)


	23. Chapter 23

I'm in blackness. I can't see a thing. I feel blind at the same time I feel like I just need to open my eyes. Open my eyes. Please, I don't like the dark. There's nothing here, I can't even hear my own voice. I scream and nothing comes out. I can barely tell I'm thinking.

My sanity feels like its thinning. My trust that used to be around me is gone. Gamzee is gone. Sollux is gone.

Wait, I feel something. It's in my stomach and my head. It starts getting more intense until I feel like I'm being ripped apart. A red light grows behind my eyelids. They are closed. I try moving but the pain gets worse and a scream breaks out of my throat. I try opening my eyes but they seemed glued shut. I slowly move a hand in the darkness, still unable to see anything. I whimper in pure pain and I can feel hot tears build up behind my eyelids.

My hand finds my face and rests on my nose. I cry out in agony as pain shoots from my nose. I lift my hand and rest it on my eyes. There's something dried over them, a crackly texture yet thin. I press two fingers lightly on my right eye, prying them apart. A bright light blinding me and pain shot from my head. I whimpered out pitifully.

I opened my other eye, the same light blinding and hurting me again. I whimpered as my eyes refocused and tried getting used to the light.

I was in my motel, on the floor. I couldn't see my body, so I couldn't tell my situation all too well. Though I could see my hand now resting on the bloody floor. My head was resting in a dried puddle of blood, my nose seemed crooked and there was blood dried on there as well. I felt hot tears run down my face.

I need to get up. I need to clean up. A warm shower sounds so nice.

I try lifting my head, a scream coming out of it from the pain. My skin was pulled, along with my hair. I whimpered as I slid my hand over to try and scrape my face off the floor. I screamed loudly when I got to my hair. My skull was soft and could easily be pressed in. The bone was definitely broken, shattered it seemed.

Once my head was up, tears were dripping down my face, my breathing erratic and uneven. I look down at my body a strangled whimper mixed with a sob escaped.

Everywhere seemed bruised. My chest looked slightly off, broken ribs. My other hand seemed mangled, broken, probably was stomped on.

Screw a bath. I need a hospital. Badly.

I started with my legs, moving them slowly, pain radiating from my thighs. Tears were flowing hard down my face, matching the strangled whimpers. Next my other arm. My hand ached so badly. I cried loudly as I lifted my torso up with my good hand and my other elbow.

Just get over to the phone. Hurry. Please.

It hurt so badly getting onto my knees alone. My head pounded from the obvious concussion . My legs could barely hold the weight of my body as I pulled myself to my feet. My body screamed out in protest, my throat pouring out endless streams of cries and whimpers. My eyes felt like they were melting from so many tears.

I worked myself over to the phone, crying with every step. I almost cried from relief as my hand wrapped around the phone. I fell down to my butt, screaming as I felt my already weak tailbone snap inside me. Fresh tears ran down my face as the amount of pain seemed to double everywhere.

I stared at the pone, trying to collect myself. I take a deep breath before dialing the three digits.

9-1-1 *send*

I held the phone to my ear as the operator picked up.

"Nine one one, what is your emergency?"

I sighed in relief. "I-I need an ambulance... P-Pl-Please," I whimper out, my voice scratchy and quiet.

"Sir, where are you?" he asked, his voice still so calm and collected.

"R-Room t-ten... in the mot-tel on.. um.. C-Cancer Street... Please.. I-Its hurts..."

There was a pause and I felt more tears flow out of my eyes. "Okay sir, someone is on their way."

I cried from happiness. "Thank you... Thank you so much..."

"Sir, can you tell me your name?

"K-Karkat,,, Vantas.."

"Karkat, you need to tell me what happened."

"I... I don't now... I blacked out... H-He beat me...

"Who beat you?" the operator asked sternly.

"G-Gamzee... I... I loved him..."

"What is his last name, Karkat?"

"I... I don't remember... Please. I need help..."

"Sir, the ambulance is almost there. Tell me, is Gamzee's last name Makara?"

A half cry hald whimper escaped my throat. "Yes... Yes I think so..." I gasped as I heard sirens.

The operator was still talking but I couldn't tell what he was saying. I whimpered as everything started swirling, my head ached even worse. My hand my the broken part of my skull, trying to ease the pain, but only worsening it.

The sirens were very loud now. So loud it felt as if my head would burst. I heard someone at the door. Then pounding.

BAM. BAM. BAM. CRASH!

A police man broke the door down, scanning the room, stopping once he saw me. He called out something to the people outside, but I couldn't tell what.

I whimpered and dropped the phone, my arms lying useless next to me. I'm saved. I'll be okay now.


End file.
